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After a nice Thanksgiving, it’s great to be back from my tryptophan-induced coma (or more scientifically correct, a carbohydrate rich meal combined with al-kee-haul). However the week did learn me (intended grammar error) of something called a turducken? A mutant combination of birds not too far unlike a tangelo. When you make a turducken, you stuff a turkey with a duck that is in turn stuffed with a chicken. Supposedly it tastes deliciously scrumptious. That brings up an interesting thought. Now if you take Brett Favre, and stuff him with Tom Brady, and then stuff him with Tony Romo, do you get Fahveradyomo? I can hear John Madden’s head exploding right now.

After the Packers and Cowboys took care of business on Thursday, we now have the 3rd “game of the year” endlessly next to be super-hyped by ESPN, and yours truly will watch every minute of it! Before we get to that game, we have a nice full slate of games on Sunday with the playoff picture getting clearer by the week. The first game that comes to mind are the Houston Texans and the surprising Cleveland Browns. The return of QB Matt Schaub and WR Andre Johnson have injected some life into the 5 and 5 Texans who look to stay above .500 and vie for a wildcard spot. Cleveland meanwhile at 6-4 have exceeded virtually everyone’s expectations, especially Cowboys fans who were expecting a top 10 1st round pick next year due to a draft day trade that gave them the rights to Cleveland’s pick. The Browns own one of the more potent offenses led by QB Derek Anderson who is making it harder to justify Cleveland keeping two “quality” QBs in himself and bluechip Brady Quinn. Whatever the case, a savvy offseason pickup of RB Jamal Lewis combined with the young receiving corp of Braylon Edwards and Kellen-the-effing-soulja-Winslow Jr. has elevated this perennial loser into a bona fide playoff contender. Their defense is the weak-link but the chance for a playoff berth is something worth cheering for from a long-suffering fan base.

Similarly, the Buccaneers sitting at 6-4 look to improve their lead in the NFC south with a game against the 5-5 Redskins who look to bounce back from losing to the Cowboys and string some wins together behind improving young QB Jason Campbell in order to stay within striking distance of a wild card spot. While the NFC West owns some of the worst teams in the league a la San Francisco and St. Louis, the 5-5 Arizona Cardinals can also hope to follow the rejuvenation of Kurt Warner and knock the equally barely average Seattle Seahawks from the perch of the division lead.

As always though, the spotlight will be on the undefeated New England Patriots who aren’t only destroying teams but point spreads as well. As of press time the line is at 22 for Philadelphia possibly playing without Donovan McNabb. Call me crazy, but this screams of the 2006 playoff bound Eagles led by one Jeff Garcia. Call me insane but the Eagles may be able to cover the double digit spread with A.J. Feeley. Call me psychotic but the Eagles might win straight up. The Patriots D is not infallible, I will type this until I am blue in the face. And Philadelphia not being held back by McNabb’s gimpiness and excuses might be able to open up the playbook and score a few points while their infamous blitz packages MIGHT get some pressure on Brady. The Patriot’s super successful season is truly attributed to their stout offensive line who allow Brady to walk off the field in a clean jersey. With any passable pressure on the QB, no matter who you are, one can throw off his game and force some INTs or sacks.

With only 7 teams out of 32 effectively out of the playoff picture, and 25 more up in limbo essentially, it’s shaping up to be a wild remaining 6 game latter third of the regular season. Here’s to a “Fahveradyomo” kind of holiday and a happy new Houshmandzadeh!

NFL YTD: 71-64-9

Green Bay Packers @ Detroit Lions +3.5

New York Jets @ Dallas Cowboys -14

Indianapolis Colts -11.5 @ Atlanta Falcons

Buffalo Bills @ Jacksonville Jaguars -8

Houston Texans +3.5 @ Cleveland Browns

Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs -5.5

Seattle Seahawks @ St. Louis Rams +3

Minnesota Vikings  @ New York Giants -7

Washington Redskins +3 @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers +3

Tennessee Titans @ Cincinnati Bengals +1.5

San Francisco 49ers +10.5 @ Arizona Cardinals

Baltimore Ravens @ San Diego Chargers -9.5

Denver Broncos @ Chicago Bears pk

Philadelphia Eagles +22 @ New England Patriots

Miami Dolphins +16 @ Pittsburgh Steelers

(this article is being posted post-humously in a manner of speaking thanks to me attending a crazy OU/Texas Tech game where the Red Raiders almost gave up a 21 point lead in 2 minutes to blow the game, so laziness/weariness set in and my much “anticipated” Week 11 preview is now just a recap)

Pat Healy: What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
Brett Favre: I’m in town to play the Dolphins, you dumb ass.

New England Patriots, the Dallas Cowboys, the Green Bay Packers, and the defending champs Indianapolis Colts. Barring a complete and utter disaster (very plausible), these four teams are bound for the playoffs, and set for deep playoff runs. If Dallas and Green Bay take care of business on Turkey Day, we’re looking at a potential match-up of 10-1 teams. First it was New England @ Dallas, then New England @ Indianapolis, and now possibly Green Bay @ Dallas stands to be the latest super-duper-hype-machined-Stuart-Scott-pissing-off-Steve-Young-on-air-game-of-the-year/month/week/day. Barring a less-popular-spoiler-team-crashing-the-party, these four teams, any combination of them will produce a Super Bowl match-up that fans hope for, TV executives dream of, and commercial-laden corporations climax over. You’ve got superstar athletes, very very good teams that aren’t overly one-sided, each of these four teams offer solid if not spectacular offenses and defenses, and you’ve got dynasties (New England, Dallas, and Green Bay), as well as deeply embedded history and traditions of success (America’s Team and Titletown U.S.A.).

Week 11 came and went with the Packers blowing the Panthers out of the water, the Cowboys barely squeaking by their hated rivals, the Redskins, the Colts managed to win in a defensive/boring struggle, and the Patriots did what they do best, not only beat the team but-insult-their-mothers-kiss-their-girlfriends-and-collectively-kick-their-puppies-in-the-groin. So while I could go on and on about the Cleveland Browns or Arizona Cardinals possibly make the playoffs, we all know NFL fans alike want some more of that Brady-Moss-Romo-T.O.-Manning-Fahvera kool-aid.

Let’s start with the Green Bay Packers who have finally found a running game. After weeks of yours truly and everyone else in the national media saying that Green Bay has played nobodies and having no running game, they have in the last 3 games, 262 yards from Ryan Grant who has come out of nowhere to give this Packers team some added balance to that already potent passing attack (by the way, I still think they have played nobody, just like the Cowboys and Patriots have played nobody. Hmm, maybe the whole league sucks and there’s only a handful of good teams?). Anchored by a very solid defense, look for more wins and deep playoff contention from Green Bay and Brett Favre. Also look for more wet dreams from John Madden (picture it!) All kidding aside, what Favre has done this year is truly amazing, and funny given the fact that the same journalists who called for his retirement for 2 years straight are now kissing that Wrangler-jeans-ass.

Indianapolis was fresh off two losses, one off of one of the more memorable regular season games I’ve seen against the Patriots, and the other where they almost came back to win against the Chargers in Manning’s worst statistical game. So in a lackluster, defensive battle and full of yawns, the Colts came away with the win against the Chiefs. It should be reminded that the Colts are dealing with various injuries, most notably to Marvin Harrison and Dwight Freeney. Freeney, the sack fueled engine behind the Colt’s stout D is lost for the year, and may put a damper in the Colt’s title repeat plans. However Tony Dungy will not allow it to be an excuse, and look for this team to remain in contention as long as Manning is behind center. Though he is in a bit of a mini-slump, I think this team is very dangerous as they have the talent, the experience and the coach to win any game. Their real concern should be with Adam Vinatieri who suddenly looks human missing several field goals against the Chargers and Chiefs. He somewhat redeemed himself today with a game winner.

On to the Patriots, where I have nothing more to add than what is already known. They are dominant, badass, ruthless, yet quiet possibly the best and complete team seen in recent memory. As much as the national media is suckling on the teats of New England, and as much as that irks me, credit should be given to where it is deserved. Top to bottom, the Patriots have no weaknesses and are as deep and talented as they are hungry to crush everyone in their path. It should be noted the one chink in the armor is their RB depth as Kevin Faulk was hurt tonight in their latest blowout win vs. the Bills, and Maroney had something wrong with him too as he only had 6 carries. However critics and opponents eager to find a weakness will have to notice that guys like Heath Evans and Kyle Eckel had 5.6 and 4.0 yards per carry, respectively. So when your 3rd and 4th string RBs can carry for those averages on 10 carries, you know you have depth, and you can kick anyone’s ass all over the field. The only thing that can stop the Patriots now are major injuries consecutively or bad karma. We’ve seen that it is possible to dominate them for 3 quarters like the Colts did, but the problem is just as that, only 3 quarters. At the risk of sounding clichéd, you got to play them for 4 quarters! you MUST PROTECT… THIS HOUSE! :)

As for the Cowboys, the wins need to continue. Recent December slumps have plagued this team, but any hopes of a title requires them to win deep through Christmas. Fighting with Green Bay for home field advantage will go a long ways towards garnering any advantage necessary for the right to go to the big dance. I believe given a 2nd match-up, this particular Cowboys team will put up a better fight with the Patriots, at least as a fan I can only hope. After clamoring for more carries for Marion Barber who in my opinion is the better back, I am somewhat softening my stance on that after seeing a purpose to Wade Phillips (or maybe Jason Garrett’s) madness. Julius Jones though inferior to Barber is still a serviceable back as well as a faster runner with a home run threat. So though he may be easier to tackle, and not as tough a runner, he serves best to start the game, wear on the defense, and allow Barber to come in late in the game to deliver the lasting punishing blow. Right now the Cowboys feel good but cannot rest on their laurels, it starts with 3 games in a span of 16 days, and after a game 1 win over the Redskins, going after the Jets and the much will-be anticipated game with the Packers will serve as a barometer of how far this talented team will go.

NFL YTD: 71-64-9
Last week: 7-6-1

We’ll just say I was on a “bye week”. Besides its illegal in 49 states outside of Nevada, so no big loss right? ;) but I do think Tennessee as 2 point underdogs tomorrow on Monday Night have a good chance of upending the Broncos.

Bill Parcells once said, “You are what you are.” Coaches are looked upon for leadership often time in sports, but their knack for inane quotes cannot be overstated enough (As a segway, its also a little known fact that the Hall of Fame NFL coach was an assistant coach for Texas Tech from 1975-1977). This simplistic yet broad statement pretty much sums up the Texas Tech Red Raiders ever since Mike Leach was hired in 2000 coincidentally the same year yours truly graduated from high school and entering freshmen year in the dry windy plains of Lubbock, Texas. The dawn of the Mike Leach era ushered in the “Air Raid” posse while in a respect pushing out the “Swarm” defense in the process.

So nowadays, when asked what the Red Raiders are, they are known for their passing offense, their NCAA top-rated offense year in and year out in every year of Mike Leach’s tenure. No-named-lowly-recruited-prospects like Kliff Kingsbury, BJ Symons, Sonny Cumbie, and Cody Hodges became household names (albeit households that watch a lot of college football) due to the pass-happy-offense that Leach installed here at Tech. In a short time, Leach and the Red Raiders made a niche in a predominantly defense-oriented Big 12 conference. Before you know it, rappers are wearing Kingsbury jerseys hip-hopping it up with Nelly in my “Air Force Ones” (gimme the black, and the platinum, and the leather gray. The ones in the back and the pair you got on displaaay).

This is where the critics crawl out of the woodworks:

- it’s a gimmick offense, the players are a product of the system

- they don’t play defense

- they can’t run the ball, or don’t even try

- they can’t beat the big schools, nor will ever be a national title contender

All such points are valid, and correct. To a certain extent. It’s easy to bash what you don’t understand fully. Sometimes even I don’t think Mike Leach fully understands his own offense, but thats ludicrous because he created it. You can certainly be a product of the system, but how does the product look so good, if the producers aren’t somewhat talented? Maybe Tech doesn’t produce NFL talent year in and year out like Florida State, or Miami, but on the collegiate level as long as their offense is top 3 on an annual basis, Wes Welker will not be the last name you hear to make an impact in the NFL under the tutelage of Coach Leach. Welker himself has more total receiving yards this year than 1st round bluechips such as Roy Williams, Calvin Johnson, Michael Jenkins, Reggie Williams, and Matt Jones to name a few. True he has Tom Brady as his QB, but he already made an impression in 2006 playing for a woeful Dolphins team led by washed-up-Dante-Culpepper, and Joey Harrington as his QBs.

They don’t play defense. Hey you are what you are right? Before Mike Leach came, Texas Tech under Spyke Dykes (a decent coach in his own right) ran the ball, played tough “Swarm” D, and ball control became a staple of the Red Raiders for many years. The problem? Everyone else from OU, to Texas A&M’s “Wrecking Crew” Defense, to UT played the same style of football (only much better) from the twilight years of the Southwest Conference until now in the Big 12 Conference. So instead of playing 4th fiddle to a style of football dominated by bigger and more popular schools, Leach introduced Lubbock to the forward pass, and opted to at least try to recruit outside the state. Though Texas has some of the best high school players around, when you have to compete with OU, UT, Texas A&M, LSU and Florida even, you adapt or you end up being in the cellar in your own conference. The criticism of not running the ball a lot stems simply from ignorance and not seeing that short quick out pass patterns, swing passes out to the flats, and screen plays are a fancy way of handing off the ball to run. As for referring to Tech’s lack of desire to better their D, I’d say having six 4-star recruits of which four of them are defensive players in the last couple years constitutes as trying. Furthermore, if a rag-tag team of recruitment rejects that the Longhorns and Aggies don’t want, can lead the nation in passing with Leach at the helm, then it stands to say, sometimes the driver is just as important as the car. And so if your car is a Ferrari, but the driver keeps her at 50mph, whats the point? In this case, Leach’s lead foot keeps the Offensive-minded Ferrari at 150mph, but the defense could use a good driver of its own a la Ruffin McNeil possibly who has held his own taking over mid-term a defensive team in disarray.

“It’s a little like breakfast – you eat ham and eggs. As coaches and players, we’re like the ham. You see – the chicken’s involved but the pig’s committed. We’re like the pig, they’re like the chicken. They’re involved, but everything we have rides on this.” -Mike Leach-

Tech has an identity now. What the article linked above fails to mention is that Leach has established an identity and a continual expectation of winning here in Lubbock. His quirky persona has also complimented this university with a unique personality suitable for media sound bytes and SportsCenter highlights. While Tech may not be perennial national title contenders, out of 119 division I schools in the nation, I’d say having a decent shot is better than running your architect of recent success out the door for a possible chance at getting better? Ask Nebraska and Texas A&M how that plan is working out, as no one under the age of 20 knows what the Black Shirts or the Wrecking Crew are anymore without looking it up on Wikipedia. With schools like that they have a deeply embedded tradition that by shying away from it, they have set themselves up for bad karma and have ultimately lost their identity, and coincidentally their amount of wins have shrunk. Texas Tech has no such deeply rooted attributes. However the roots have been planted by Mike Leach, and its tentacles are beginning to reach far culminating in claiming prized recruits such as Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree who will be early Heisman candidates next year.

What Harrell and Crabtree lack in experience, leadership, folklore status, and ultimately experience (again) in comparison to Kingsbury, Welker, and Carlos Francis, they make up for in raw talent as they are the recent exhibitions of Leach’s continual ability to snag top-rated talent. So when the day comes (better be next year as Harrell and Crabtree’s time of eligibility are numbered) where they can match the heart and desire to win of the great Red Raiders who came before them, the wins will continue, and possibly the next step can be achieved.

Personally, playing in a bowl game every year, and a fighting chance for greatness are acceptable the way Coach Leach runs his program with a winning attitude that doesn’t accept anything less. As long as its never enough and everyone strives to be better, that is enough for the average fan/alum like me, and as long as we keep beating A&M at least. :) Sometimes, you just gotta eat the pig and let the chicken fly away. Maybe that didn’t make sense, but I know Coach Leach knows what I’m talking about ;)

Two weeks into the season, and we’re already seeing some trends as well as possible contenders and pretenders. As expected by the hype machine that is Boston: 9-0 Patriots, 6-0 Celtics, and 2007 World Series Champion Red Sox. There must be no less than 1,000 separate circle jerks going on every 5 hours in beantown. Of course if the Cowboys were 9-0, the Mavericks were 6-0, and the Rangers were celebrating their first World Series Championship, I might be the grand marshal of that adulterous smorgasbord. However of course, my loyal reader(s), of whom I think total to about 2 would know that I would never do such a thing. I am talking about of course of being a Mavericks fan.

With San Antonio, Utah, Phoenix and Detroit rounding out some of the usual top teams so far, they are joined by New Orleans, Orlando, Houston, and yes even Boston (who are at press time the only unbeaten team left in the NBA) as surprising teams off to a fast start. New Orleans has a very good PG in Chris Paul who is a virtual threat night in and night out for a triple double, with his gutsy play, unselfishness, court vision, speed and killer instinct. He is the true epitome of what a point guard should be. He has improved on his three point range thus adding another arsenal to his already loaded bag of tricks. With the return of pure shooter, Peja Stojakovic, stretching the defense and draining treys from downtown alongside Tyson Chandler who is a rebound/block machine, the Hornets are ready for a big season.

The Magic who have built around Dwight Howard, the next great big man in the NBA, are making noise this season after finally coming out from the shadow of Grant Hill’s crippling 100 million dollar contract. So instead they spent nearly 110 million on another small forward. However as long as Rashard Lewis keeps scoring 20 ppg and works well with Howard and actually-plays-at-least-90%-of-his-6-year-contract-compared-to-the-gimp-from-Duke-who-did-Sprite-commercials-

back-before-the-LeBron-James/weirdass-sublymonal-crap-we-see-today, the Magic will have spent their money well. They also threw money at Jameer Nelson and hope he can be a serviceable PG, and so far in the young season, this has been the case. The mighty mouse is averaging a career high 6 assists per game. In light of all of this, I think credit has to be given to management for recovering so fast from the Billy-Donovan-I-love-you-I-love-you-not fiasco and instead going with Stan “Ron Jeremy looking ass” Van Gundy, who apparently has emerged from the witness protection program to coach the Magic. After his “resignation” from the 2005-2006 Miami Heat team that went on to beat the Mavericks in the Finals, Van Gundy who is regarded by many to be a very good coach has the Magic on the right road, at least so far.

This leaves us with the Houston Rockets, who graciously fired Ron Jeremy’s brother Jeff Van Gundy instead of at least allowing him to resign, and hired the offensive minded Rick Adelman. With the Rocket’s core in place consisting of Yao Ming, Tracy McGrady, and Shane Battier; Houston was already one of the better defensive teams in the league, but now with Adelman’s touch on the offense, the Rockets look like they can finally lift T-Mac out of his 1st round playoff slump. It is still too early to say, but a recent home win against the Spurs is a good start.

As for the Celtics, its obvious/safe to say that if all three superstars (the Truth, the Big Ticket, and Jesus Shuttlesworth), all stay healthy, the Celtics are the team to beat in the tortured-red-headed-step-child of a conference that is the Eastern Conference. If two of the three are healthy (mind you it is important which two), I think they still have a shot but it would be more difficult. In my opinion, Ray Allen would be the weak link as he is dangerously turning into only a three point specialist, though to his credit he has background knowledge of how to play nice in a threesome (for those of you who have seen “He Got Game” ;) ). Garnett is the deal breaker as he does everything from scoring, rebounding, blocks, assists to even making this Celtics team a solid defending group. His defensive intensity (an understatement) has brought balance to an otherwise already potent offensive team. Paul Pierce is the heart and soul of this team and his complete game and steady leadership is just icing on the tiring cake of Boston sports.

So while the pleasant surprises of the early season are not completely bona fide given the savvy offseason acquisitions and coaching changes, this will be a thoroughly more enjoyable season with what looks like to be an overall more competitive league. Critics of the NBA who argue the me-me attitude that is ruining the sport should look no further than teams like the Utah Jazz (possibly fielding the best starting 5 in the league), San Antonio Spurs, Houston Rockets, New Orlean Hornets, or the Phoenix Suns (although they in my opinion are a shell of their former selves since last year, but more on that another time) for genuine teamwork, creative passing game, tough defense, and a wide variety of style of play.

If you want drama, you know where to look ;) (don’t be surprised if Kobe Bryant ends up in New York in two weeks)

Let’s start the weekend edition (too lazy to get one in by Friday) of Sportsboner’s NFL column with some mudslinging. Bear in mind, I am not a professional columnist (I don’t get paid to produce mindless drivel, instead I spend money so I can spill mindless drivel just to share with the world!), and that though my audience is 1/2000th the amount of Yahoo Sports’ Brandon Funston, I find it hilariouuus and annoyingly more profitable for him that his title gets more play even though I had the exact some one weeks before. I feel better now that I vented on my piddly little blog. If he starts proclaiming getting sportsboners for winning his Yahoo fantasy football leagues, then all bets are off.

Speaking of having a boner for something that used to be a huge ‘fantasy’ for all men, but is now just not worth it until money is thrown around; if it is true that the newly 67 million bucks richer QB Tony Romo received a lap dance from Britney Spears, I have only 34 words for the Cowboys’ superstar signal-caller: Tony-Romo-you-are-stinking-rich-and-are-the-QB-of-America’s-Team-this-isn’t-2001-Britney-Spears-is-two-cigarettes-

and-a-case-of-schlitz-away-from-being-Courtney-Love-you-can-do-better.

As the title suggested, we are gonna move on from weird to weirder. Jon Kitna’s creative idea for a Halloween costume should be applauded as nothing more than fraternity humor. Obviously he is good enough friends with the assistant coach and feel comfortable enough to poke fun at him for being caught driving drunk naked as a jaybird (not that I condone it but is there any other way to drive drunk?). What’s more disturbing is how those fake man-boobs on the costume were in dire need of a masculine brazier.

OK finally I’m getting to talk about actual football! And yes we are discussing the biggest game of the year, even bigger than the previous Dallas/New England showdown that I hastily proclaimed a Super Bowl in October. Thats right ladies and gentlemen I am talking about another-Super-Bowl-though-in-November-this-time; I am talking about the Washington Redskins at the New York J-E-T-S! Campbell vs. Clemens, what more could you ask for? Brady vs. Manning? Fiiiiiine (rolls eyes). Ah who are we kidding? THIS is the biggest game of the year, two undefeated teams, two prototypical superstar QBs each with Super Bowl rings, two high caliber coaches, two explosive offenses, and two aggressive defenses. However unlike years past, I am leaning towards the Colts as the more balanced team, better running game, and a very unheralded defense. I am big on strength of schedule and still contend that the Colts have played better quality of opponents compared to the Patriots who are though undeniably having a historic season tearing through everyone as if they were a bag of Cheetos caught in the meaty grasps of Britney Spears. This game will have little consequences short term in regards to the Patriots as they have a huge divisional lead over the closest team, the 3-4 Buffalo Bills. As for the Colts, a loss will leave both the Titans and Jaguars within one game of the division lead that is if both teams win their games as well.

On to the picks:

NFL YTD: 54-54-8
Last week: 5-8

Carolina Panthers @ Tennessee Titans -4

Green Bay Packers @ Kansas City Chiefs -2.5

San Diego Chargers @ Minnesota Vikings +7

Jacksonville Jaguars @ New Orleans Saints -3.5

San Francisco 49ers @ Atlanta Falcons -3

Cincinnati Bengals @ Buffalo Bills +1

Denver Broncos +3 @ Detroit Lions

Washington Redskins @ New York Jets +3.5

Arizona Cardinals @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers -3.5

Houston Texans +3 @ Oakland Raiders

Seattle Seahawks -1.5 @ Cleveland Browns

New England Patriots @ Indianapolis Colts +5

Dallas Cowboys -3 @ Philadelphia Eagles

Baltimore Ravens +9 @ Pittsburgh Steelers