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Another year another season, yet oddly this past offseason seemed to feel like the longest I’ve had to wait for a new round of NFL football to commence. I think it has a lot to do with the annoying offseason tabloid-like atmosphere that lingered around too long like a bad double bean/cabbage burrito that’s taking its 2nd turn around your intestines. Waxing inspirational poetic metaphors aside, it’s time for some gridiron action!

Ignoring all the Michael Vick witchhunts, the Tila Tequila Twitter Tweetfest, and the soap opera circus, will help us focus on instead the substantial important headlines that will affect the actual games.

Things to consider for week one:

- Two bounceback teams from 2008: the Miami Dolphins and the Atlanta Falcons conveniently face each other on Sunday. Although the winner of this game doesn’t necessarily foreshadow the fortunes of the coming season, the big question remains, can either of the Dolphins or Falcons duplicate their success? My guess is no. The Dolphins remain anemic on offense in my personal unqualified opinion, despite a gimmick Wildcat variable to disguise an otherwise largely conservative offensive scheme. While the Falcons boast a strong foundation for future success, I feel QB Matt Ryan will go through a sophomore slump as Atlanta will not benefit from a soft strength of schedule like they did last year.

- I would liken the same scenario for the Baltimore Ravens and their sophomore signal-caller, Joe “Bert-from-Sesame-Street-looking-ass” Flacco. However, the Ravens have had success for years with their staunch defense and solid running game without the benefit of a blue-chip QB, so his presence doesn’t hurt them but his potential keeps them rolling. As tough as things are in the AFC, I expect Baltimore to remain solid.

- The swirl between the Denver Broncos and Jay Cutler was as weird and incomprehensible as if you were married to Beyonce and decided one day you’d wife swap for a backup singer. Sure the backup singer seems more stable/solid, and you claim you are looking out for the team’s interest, but how can you pass up Beyonce’s arm strength? Somewhere along there even I lost myself in that analogy, but I’m in too deep so I’m gonna stick to my conviction that when your franchise has someone with an incredible singing voice like Cutler’s you don’t trade it for the better interests of the team. Denver may be haunted by this crazy subplot in the way the Red Sox were when Babe Ruth was traded. Cutler’s no Ruth, but Kyle Orton’s definitely no John Elway either. Coach Josh McDaniels can spin it any way he wants, Cutler is not the first sensitive-egocentric athlete to roam the field, feelings can be assuaged but fan bases and Super Bowl aspirations are hard enough to fulfill.

- There’s nothing else I can say about the “new” Brett Favre era in Minnesota other than, if the Vikings hope to go deep in the playoffs, they have to try to ignore all the distractions Favre brings to the team knowingly and intentionally. This is a talented team that just needs a QB not to throw INTs (that being said, Favre may not be best suited as such).

- I’m excited to see the development in rookie QBs Mark Sanchez of the New York Jets, and Matthew Stafford of the Detroit Lions. Sanchez became an immediate fan favorite not seen since the days of Joe Namath (how would I know, I wasn’t born yet!?!), and Stafford has the big arm and hopefully the big shoulders to resuscitate a long-losing Lions franchise. Other QBs interesting to watch this season is Jason Campbell of the Washington Redskins who finally has an offensive coordinator/system in place for more than 1 year. Will consistency in the coaching ranks finally allow this young man to take it to the next level or has he already reached his ceiling? Likewise with Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys who seems to be a grizzled vet but in reality still only a QB about to start his 4th full season as a starter. This year (no excuses) has to be the year he quiets the critics and will determine if Romo is just talent, or a talented winner. Tom Brady of the New England Patriots dashed some doubts with a strong showing in preseason and all eyes will be on him when the games really count. My two comeback players to keep tabs on will be David Garrard of the Jacksonville Jaguars, and Matt Hasselbeck of the Seattle Seahawks. Both are coming off disappointing seasons, the latter from a back injury to boot, and both have new receivers. Their success might be enough to lead their respective teams back to the big dance come January.

- I know everyone is holding their breath for me to mention T.O. but the truth is, the Buffalo Bills just fired their offensive coordinator a week before the season starts, and named a glorified underwhelming career backup QB in Alex Van Pelt to call the plays (Jason Garrett anyone?), so my expectations are tempered. Nevertheless, the star of his self-titled reality TV show never fails to disappoint whether on the field or at the Palms in Las Vegas, so I say break out the guacamole!

Week One picks purely for entertainment purposes:

Miami Dolphins +4 @ Atlanta Falcons

Kansas City Chiefs @ Baltimore Ravens -12.5

Philadelphia Eagles @ Carolina Panthers +2.5

Denver Broncos +5 @ Cincinnati Bengals

Minnesota Vikings @ Cleveland Browns +4

New York Jets @ Houston Texans -4

Jacksonville Jaguars +6.5 @ Indianapolis Colts

Detroit Lions @ New Orleans Saints -14

Dallas Cowboys -4.5 @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals -5.5

Washington Redskins +6.5 @ New York Giants

St. Louis Rams @ Seattle Seahawks -7.5

Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers -4.5

Buffalo Bills +11 @ New England Patriots

San Diego Chargers -10 @ Oakland Raiders