SportsBoner.com

In lieu of a busy week/sloth neglecting to put my usual random drivel of a preview for weekly NFL matchups, I thought I could kill two Ravens with one stone by also doing the weekly power rankings that can also be found on the NFL Nickel and Dime page.  If you think this is another half-ass effort akin to clip shows most sitcoms have when they run out of good ideas, then you my friend are correct!

Top Ten:

1) Pittsburgh Steelers – I hate to say it, but the Steelers have impressed me mightily, playing a murderous schedule which included whalloping a Houston Texans team thats clearly underachieving (the Texans have the talent, just been snakebitten), and taking out playoff-caliber teams like the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Baltimore Ravens while losing to a pretty good Philadelphia Eagles team at the same time.  All the while they’ve been playing with a gimp star QB, musical chairs at the RB position, half their offensive line intact and various other injuries on the defense.  The upcoming bye week is well needed and perfectly timed as the big win over the Jaguars should catapult this team to more wins.

2) Washington Redskins – Am I totally drunk? The Steelers AND Redskins as the top two teams? =( Alas, its not 2 Bud Lights (I’m a lighweight) that speaks for me but rather my very conflicted sense of reasoning.  The Skins have been very impressive after an understandably unimpressive opening loss to the defending champs week 1 when they were ushering in a rookie head coach.  I mean 4 straight wins over upstarts Arizona, New Orleans and two in a row ON THE ROAD vs. bitter divisional rivals in Dallas and Philadelphia should by all rights earn them the number one spot if not for Pittsburgh playing with half a roster and still punching out wins.

3) Tennessee Titans – They have done nothing wrong to warrant a drop in rankings but alas even though they are winning and have yet to lose, they are winning with pure defense and very little offense.  Yes a stout D is the right way to win, but in my unsubstantiated opinion, the best teams are balanced.  If the Titans were ever to face a truly balanced team that could play D and score decently, they would lose 17-6 easily on the heels of Kerry Collin’s best impression of Trent Dilfer circa the 2000-2001 season (I realize that season ended with a Super Bowl win, but I am stupid enough to need more convincing).

4) New York Giants – The Giants are recipients of a cupcake schedule in going 4-0 and I expect less from them when the schedule toughens up considerably late October thru all of November and to the rest of the season.

5) Dallas Cowboys – On one hand they should be lucky to squeeze a win out vs. the winless hapless Bengals, on the other hand the same Bengals are just banged up and almost beat the NY Giants a couple weeks ago.  Either way its clear that their offense is not running at peak efficiency much less explosive and their D with the inconsistency in the 2ndary lends itself to perceptions of being overrated.  The talent’s there, when the focus comes around, this team should still be a contender.  I suppose its better to peak in December than in October like seasons past =\

6) Buffalo Bills – Holding steady even with a hiccup against the Cardinals for their first loss of the season.  The injury to QB Trent Edwards is of some concern but depending on how former starter J.P. Losman or if Edwards returns, this team should hold course for their first playoff berth in quite awhile (at least I think quite awhile).

7) Carolina Panthers – Like Greeks bearing gifts, I just don’t trust this Panthers team.  They look adequately decent in going 4-1.  Their schedule sets up nicely to go 11-5 or better and taking the NFC South crown.  BTW no offense to Greeks. Ah who am I kidding why do I have to be P.C.? I don’t like Greek salad dressings.  Ah why do I have to be a liar? I LOVE Greek salad dressing.  My friend’s dad is Greek.  Ok I’ll stop.

8) Denver Broncos – Can score, but can’t stop the run.  Usually that’s a recipe for more losses than an impressive 4-1 record, but in this case throw out a fortuitous yet, controversial win thanks to Ed Hochuli’s reffing error or the ball bouncing the wrong way against the Saints and Tampa Bay and this team could easily be 1-4 instead of vice versa.  But as it stands they are indeed 4-1 but if that run D is not shored up soon, their early season success will be short lived.

9) New England Patriots – Maybe Matt Cassel is good enough.  Maybe the D is not as old/washed up as I and others previously thought.  Maybe Randy Moss will actually make an impact this season.  Maybe the Patriots can win a Super Bowl with this Brady-less roster, after all Brady did it with a Bledsoe-less (say that 5 times fast!) roster.  Maybe I’ll just stop here.  Maybe.

10) Arizona Cardinals – By default in having a decent record and being among the rest of the 3-2 teams to qualify for the 10th spot I take the Cards by said default in leading the NFC West.  Impressive offense, improving D (if you ignore the Jets game where Fahvera threw 6 TD passes), and whats not to like about the Cardinals being led by ageless two time MVP Kurt Warner.  They will be in the playoffs and could have a very impressive record if they can scrounge some wins on the road.  Will this finally be the year that Arizona lives up to it’s annual sleeper predictions?

On the bubble: Chicago Bears, Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Bottom Feeders:

28) Houston Texans – Sage Rosenfels, enough said.

29) Cincinnati Bengals – Seem to play well vs. good teams but still without a win.

30) Kansas City Chiefs – Just when I thought they were out of the Bottom Feeders, I keep pulling them back in…  because they’re horrible.

31) Detroit Lions – The ghost of Matt Millen should not be overlooked. OK the curse of Matt Millen has offically begun.

32) St. Louis Rams – The-Greatest-Show-On-Turf couldn’t beat a A-Team-Full-Of-Smurfs. I’m just gonna stick with that until I think of something else. Now welcome to the Jim Haslett era.  They’re the only team to have lost on a bye week! LOL

Things to look for in Week 6:

- If Kyle Orton shaved his beard will he still be Kyle Orton? or Rex Grossman incarnate?

- If Sage Rosenfels fumbled the ball with a double digit lead in a forest and no one was around to recover it, would the Texans still lose?

- Did you notice this section was to talk about Week 6 and I haven’t said anything relative to the subject?

- The Chargers win against the Patriots this week.

- Detroit will also get their first win of the year against Minnesota, I am basing this on the relative theory that Gus Frerotte surely can’t pull out two wins in a row.

And thats the conclusion of half-baked work at a moment’s notice, thank you for reading and enjoy your weekend!