SportsBoner.com

- 24 Imaginary Trophies on my Yahoo! Fantasy Sports trophy case dictate that I am indeed an expert… if not a huge dork.

- This page is solely dedicated to the fantasy football team owned by yours truly in a private league amongst friends that I have been commissioner of for the last 7 years… and they say men have commitment issues.

- This is a custom league in that scoring is predicated on a combination of pass attempts, completions, receptions, carries, TDs, fumbles, interceptions and yardages among others.

- It will be updated weekly, so feel free to make fun of it, prod it, poke it, analyze it, steal waiver wire ideas, or feel superior in that your team is vastly better than mine.

Week 1 recap: In a solid performance, my team “Ocho Cinco Virgenes” whales on my friend Huff’s “Dinar Menunaires” in a score of 502.66 to 375.20. Good for 5th place out of 12. Better luck next time Huff! ;)

Superstar: Tony Romo – did not disappoint with 110 points through solid passing and 1 long TD throw to T.O., even with a busted chin Romo was channeling some of that old “Aikman” accuracy known in the early 90s with his own bloody chin.

Superdud: Carson Palmer – when you take another QB in the 2nd round, you clearly expect more than the paltry 34 point stinker Palmer laid on Sunday. I will be closely watching his progress as I cannot afford to leave potentially 70 points on the board with Jon Kitna waiting in the wings. Thats right I said Jon freaking Kitna!

Supersleeper: From Clinton Portis, to Deuce McAllister, to Marion Barber, yours truly has had a “gift” of picking out stud RB sleepers the YEAR they bust out. Of course a happy trigger finger on draft day taking them 2 rounds before they should be drafted might inflate this idealism but all the same. Still early but Matt Forte, Steve Slaton and Kevin Smith will have the honors this year of battling for Fantasy Football’s Sleeper/Sexy Rookie RB pick up of the year. (Who else do you know drafted 3 rookie RBs?)

Week 2 recap: Taking advantage of LaDainian Tomlinson’s jammed big toe, and overcoming Jay Cutler’s huge statistical day, I dropped my friend Matteo’s team “don’t know yet” (creative team name btw) like a sack of a potatoes 550.04 to 441.90. Good for 3rd place out of 12. Next!

Superstar: Tony Romo – aside from a bonehead fumble in his own endzone and a greedy INT to Asante Samuels, Romo carried the Ocho Cinco Virgenes hooking up with T.O. 2x and another to Marion the Barbarian.

Superdud: Carson Palmer – ignoring the fact that he has the lowest QB rating right now, (yes even lower than Tavaris Jackson who incidentally will be riding pine for rest of the season), you should expect more from your 2nd overall pick. He better get better soon or Jon Kitna will be filling his spot. Eek!

Supersleeper: Matt Forte – da Bears love this hard running fool who racked up 92 yards on 22 carries, enough to help me win.

Week 3 recap: The return of Carson Palmer was much welcomed in pasting team “flops” 576.24 to 163.90, too bad there’s not a BCS/PSI ranking system. This raised me to 2nd place out of 12. Don’t mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns!

Superstar: Reggie Kardashian/Matt Forte – Although Carson Palmer broke the century mark in points, I’m gonna go ahead and reward it to my starting RBs: Reggie Bush and Matt Forte who both had sticky fingers and hauled in a combined 18 receptions for a 141 yards!!! and a TD apiece. Who needs WRs =)

Superdud: Kevin Smith – after two solid weeks, this dude lost his starting gig to another dude who lost his luggage. =(

Supersleeper: Steve Slaton – 18 carries for 116 yards, keep em coming!!

Pos		Offense				Pass Att	Comp	Inc	Yds	TD	Int	Sack	Att	Yds	TD	Rec	Yds	TD	2PT	Lost	Fan Pts
QB		Tony Romo (Dal – QB)				30	17	13	260	1	1	3	1	-1	0	0	0	0	0	0	68.80
QB		Carson Palmer (Cin – QB)				39	27	12	286	1	0	6	3	23	0	0	0	0	0	0	110.74
WR		Wes Welker (NE – WR)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	19	0	6	55	0	0	0	27.40
WR		Chris Chambers (SD – WR)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	27	1	0	0	12.70
WR		Robert Meachem (NO – WR)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	86	0	0	0	14.60
RB		Reggie Bush (NO – RB)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	18	73	1	11	75	1	0	1	92.80
RB		Matt Forte (Chi – RB)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	27	89	0	7	66	1	0	0	97.50
TE		John Carlson (Sea – TE)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	38	0	0	0	9.80
W/R		Kevin Smith (Det – RB)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	3	14	0	0	0	0	0	0	7.40
W/R		Steve Slaton (Hou – RB)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	18	116	1	4	8	0	0	0	67.40
BN		Darren Sproles (SD – RB)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	5	38	0	2	39	0	0	0	23.70
BN		Jon Kitna (Det – QB)				30	15	15	146	1	1	4	3	19	0	0	0	0	0	0	58.24
BN		Maurice Morris (Sea – RB)				-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	0.00
BN		Brad Johnson (Dal – QB)				-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	0.00
BN		Kevin Kolb (Phi – QB)				3	2	1	18	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	5.22
BN		Matt Gutierrez (NE – QB)				-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	0.00
BN		Sam Hurd (Dal – WR)				-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	0.00
BN		Miles Austin (Dal – WR)				0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	115	1	0	0	34.50