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And so do I (even if he has a foot and a half on me).  Why “wore”? Because tonight after seeing the San Antonio Spurs FINALLY finish off the Phoenix Suns, the camera’s panned to Spurs great David “The Admiral” Robinson and he looked like he’s packed on a few.  That’s to be expected as Robinson is surely enjoying retirement after an illustrious (albeit underwhelming due to his talent never fully grasped personally) career.  A 7 footer that could move like The Admiral, shoot, rebound, and defend at an alarming clip is a a virtual lock for the unofficial moniker of a top 5 NBA player of ALL TIME, yet his personality ultimately kept him from being as such.  A thoroughly good man of strong faith and even stronger convictions, Robinson infamously lacked that killer instinct and competitive drive to be the best.  In truth He was more content with using basketball as a platform (and means) to reaching out in his community and helping those less fortunate.  In the end, David Robinson was who he was, and no one can expect him to be anyone but the grinning-larger-than-life public figure that America cherished but San Antonio more so than the rest.  Everyone has their agenda, and Robinson chose his like Charles Barkely with his blunt honesty layered with political satire and Michael Jordan’s M.O. in upholding Western Capitalism.   In that, this endearing-too-nice personality-instead-of-I-should-be-the-biggest-baddest-mofo-with-a-basketball-attitude was what drew me to first being a Spurs fan in an era where despite 2/3 of my favorite teams residing in the Dallas area, I could not bring myself to support the Mavericks.

As a sports fan, its important to lay some roots in picking your favorite team, certainly its not life or death but in terms of communal respect from fellow sports fans one cannot be a bandwagon or worst a fair weather fan.  You can, but its one of the finer details of fandom that’s deeply appreciated when the camaraderie of watching sports with your friends comes into play.  So when it came to the great Dallas Mavericks renaissance in the early 2000s with Steve Nash, Michael Finley, Dirk Nowitski and of course Shawn Bradley, I was more than happy to cheer on the Mavs but ultimately my loyalties lay with the Spurs.

If this piece sounds like the Spur’s swan song, thats because I am preparing for it as such.  Even though San Antonio dispatched Phoenix in 5 games (a series that most picked Phoenix to win, or the series to go to 7 games or 6 games at worst), it was draining and almost downright (with the exception of game 3 for the Spurs) uncomfortable.  It took everything for the Spurs and some luck to take that series.  Sadly this was dubbed the best of all the match-ups in the playoffs, and to an extent it was but in the scope of things: 3 close games, and 2 blowouts for an evenly matched seeding that only went to 5 games ended up being more of a conundrum than a memorable series.  Game 1 was and will be on ESPN Classic for years to come, but that’s all that can be taken from a face off that had a weird plucky feel to it rather than a heavyweight bout.  Maybe I and others in the (real) media hyped it up so much that we overlooked how sound the Spurs are in terms of their playoff acumen compared to the Sun’s inability to hurdle their longtime nemesis.

The keys to this series hinged on the Suns not being able to contain Tony Parker, Tim Duncan simply being his BMF self in the playoffs despite his detractors (or ignorers more like it), the Spurs having no answer for Amare Stoudemire yet the Suns apparently did not either as his potential has yet to be met in my opinion on the biggest of stages.  The coaching again cannot be emphasized enough.  In a blowout win in game 4, Coach D’Antoni left in his starters Stoudemire and Diaw in a 20+ point lead with only 2 minutes left to play.  Out of fear of losing another big lead, or just mediocre player management, he risked injury or suspension (circa 2007 playoffs aka infamous Horry-hip-check-on-Nash).  Even though neither happened, the fact that the possibility existed is of merit while his counterpart pulled his starters at the end of the 3rd waving the white flag.  Coach Popavich is known for doing this to preserve his veteran players whenever he feels his chances of a comeback are next to nil.  However the fact that the Spurs’ scrubs got to play was important last Sunday afternoon because Robert Horry who had been out a long time was able to log 20+ minutes of garbage time to get his legs under him.  He even was quoted before the game as marvelling how much playing an extended amount of time in game 4 did wonders for a crusty old veteran who hadn’t played much all year.  As a result in game 5 tonight, Horry hit a 3, had 2 rebounds pedestrian stats at best but most importantly of all he had a key steal against Nash late in the game to help the Spurs seal the game.  Also of note in this overall series is how Steve Nash was more of a scorer than a distributor, how in their 2nd elimination game (game 5) the whole Sun’s offense was fueled mainly by Boris Diaw.  Though he punished them tonight to the tune of 22/8/8, his two late turnovers in the crucial waning moments of the 4th quarter sealed Phoenix’s fate.  Besides when your main offensive weapon/distributor was your 7th man off the bench all year with weapons such as Nash, and Stoudemire roaming the court non-involved in the biggest game of your season so far much is left to be desired…  and questioned.

So San Antonio gets to breathe for a few days, and strangely enough their road to the Finals will get harder with the upstart New Orleans Hornets on deck, and a possible throwdown against the mighty Los Angeles Lakers on the horizon (if the dominoes fall right).  The 2nd round in the Western Conference surely has to be closer competitively from an overall series standpoint than previously thought.  Despite many people (including yours truly) attesting the competitiveness, and insane talent of teams in the Western Conference as being “stacked”; after two weeks we can safely say that we were looking at the wrong conference.  With the Denver Nuggets swept, the Mavericks taking another fishing trip after round 1 losing 1-4 to the  Hornets, and the Suns following suit 1-4 to have only the Houston Rockets versus the Utah Jazz being the closest series so far, the hope remains that we will see more than 1 series go to 6 games or 7.  As the San Antonio/Phoenix series has proven however it is possible to have one team dominate the number of games won but not necessarily the games themselves.

The Eastern Conference on the other hand has stepped up themselves and produced not only several close extremely competitive series (with the exception of Orlando and possibly Cleveland), but weird subplots such as the Atlanta Hawk’s possible monumental upset of the Boston Celtics, the Detroit Pistons inexplicable yet predictable coasting of games and lack of focus as well as DeShawn Stevenson becoming a household name due to his “beef” with LeBron James.  Sprinkled in with the tension inflamed by Jay-Z “dissing” Stevenson in a rap song, you have a full-fledged-circus-drama-Hollywood-style with a touch of NBA basketball. 

So while the Lakers are waiting for the survivor of the Rockets and Jazz as the Spurs are soaking their geriatric bodies in hottubs in anticipation of the young eager Hornets, the Celtics are still duking it out with the Hawks, the Cavaliers look to put away the pesky Wizards, and the Pistons are still on cruise control (yet fully capable of winning) against the Sixers.  Meanwhile, the Magic are waiting in the wings with their leader, Dwight Howard who based on his personality and physical presence could be mistaken for David Robinson back in his heyday.  Only difference is Robinson had a more versatile, varied offensive game at his age, and Howard more than likely doesn’t wear Levi Silvertabs 32W-50L.  Then again neither do I.  I wear Jordache ;)

As of press time 6 of the 8 series have yielded the home team holding serve and taking advantage of their…  err homefield advantage.  With only the Detroit Pistons losing game 1 (only to win game 2 to tie the series) and subsequently their homefield advantage and the Utah Jazz dispatching the Houston Rockets at the Toyota Center in Texas, despite these two series it stands to see that there’s nothing quite like some home cooking.  This criteria is further strengthened by tonight’s big wins by the Toronto Raptors and the Washington Wizards at home to guarantee no sweeps in those series.  In the scope of things, this only adds a bit of spice to some quite frankly bland opening series predominantly in the East where after the first two games some might have wonder if the Eastern Conference could conceivably produce 3 sweeps out of 4 total series.  Alas with some diligence and rabid crowd support from the Raptors and the Wizards, they have temporarily staved off elimination and brought a hint of “actually-showing-up-for-a-playoff-series.”

Houston (the game is on in the background and it sounds like the Rockets are off to a fast start) has a good chance as well as nothing to lose at this point to come out swinging in Utah where the Jazz were nearly unbeatable this season and come out with a surprise win.  Tracy McGrady has been spectacular this far, but the problem is he needs a lot of help, hopefully with Alston returning to the lineup, he can provide the boost offensively and defensively for the Rockets to notch that first win.  For the Jazz, two wins on the road will boost their confidence as their only conceivable weakness thus far is winning on the road.  At home they will be expected to… dare I say it, “Protect this HOUSE.”  (I have and will be violating numerous copyright infringements throughout the piece, thankfully I’m thoroughly a non-profit semi-organization!)

There’s nothing else much to say about MVP elite candidates Chris Paul and Kobe Bryant other than, “Slow the !@$% down! Save some of that badassness for the later series when your opponents will be tougher.”  While these guys are lighting up the scoreboards they are embarrassing the Dallas Mavericks and Denver Nuggets, respectively.  Dallas in that they’ve blown a chance to fly under the radar being a low seed for the first time in half a decade without the extra pressure, and Enver (stolen from Charles Barkley) in that there’s no D in Enver, Colorado.  Things could turn around at home, but so far it doesn’t look too good.  At best fighting off a sweep will ease the pain, but it is a far cry from the potential each team still has to make it a close series.  The Mavericks are still a balanced team with the pedigree to match the Hornets as well as they have shown the ability to contain Paul…  had shown the ability at least before the playoffs started.  Going back home may be exactly what they need and that remains to be seen in the coming days.  The Nuggets on the other hand are who exactly most thought they were: A team that can win by 20+ just as easily as lose by 20+.  Smart money is on the Nuggets having the dubious honor of being the only Western Conference team to be swept as they seem more likely to implode in the locker room at this point than on the court offensively, and the Los Angeles Lakers do not look like they are playing around.

Speaking of jovial attitudes, the Pistons finally showed what they are capable of when they take their opponent seriously instead of arrogantly direspecting them and believing the wins will roll in automatically.  However in giving up homefield in game 1, the young Sixers have a chance to bounce back behind a pumped up crowd surely to be excited to have something to cheer about beyond the regular season not seen since the peak of Allen Iverson’s MVP year in 2001.  The Boston Celtics on the other hand must all be feeling good to field a playoff team (they’ve been before many times in the still-young 21st century) with an unmistakable aura of glorious Celtics past in the 80s.  If the Atlanta Hawks can shake that happy-to-be-here stigma and take advantage of their more athletic/speedy team they can provide a better fight vs. the heavy favorite Celtics.

Now we get to my favorite portion of my lil blurb, and perhaps to the ire of a many (by many I mean a dozen) readers or so who don’t care about the San Antonio Spurs.  Apologies but as all sports fans know, loyalty to your favorite team is something special.  I always feel like I need to defend the Spurs like one would defend an ugly prom date: sure they may be boring, they may be unpopular and only their immediate family/fan base can love them, but at the end of the night they put out (Disclaimer: such is only an example and one that I’d like to think makes sense as well as one that I’d like to think and can say I haven’t personally experienced).  So the Spurs always put out, maybe not two nights…  err two years in a row but 4 out of the last 9 is better than most can say.  Nevertheless when you’re playing the Phoenix Suns who are like the prom queen: popular, bright and orange, fast and exciting but at the end of the night they just choke and throw up all over the beige carpet (Why beige? Because it goes with orange? I guess?).  Regardless that’s just after 2 games in this year’s playoff and going back to the recent playoff history between these two good teams, that means squat tomorrow and on through the rest of this heavyweight bout.  There is NO plausible way in my reasonably somewhat sane mind that San Antonio will win 2 in Arizona.  The Spurs are still a slower, older team that were not for Tim Duncan holding down the fort and storming the castle at the same time or superior coaching, could easily be 1-1 or even 0-2.  Their defense looks a step slow in conjunction with Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire’s crazy badass scoring at times.  Combine this with the fact that their offense starts off slow not only the first two games of this series but also seemingly throughout the regular season, and in round 1 so far its been their fortune that with timely adjustments and the mental boost from the roaring crowd has allowed them to stem the tide and dominate in the 2nd half.  On the Sun’s homecourt however expect at least 1 blowout in Phoenix’s favor if the San Antonio cannot get off to a better start offensively to keep Bruce Bowen (a non-factor in game 1 and only serviceable in game 2) on the court to shadow Steve Nash.  For Phoenix, they will certainly get theirs early and often but the key will be to contain Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili from slashing into the paint as that was the story in the first two games with the Spurs scoring a whopping 60% or better on average (I think) of their total points from the paint.  I foresee (too bad I can’t put money on it even though I’d probably lose) a zone defense implemented to start the game with Parker resorting to midrange jumpers off the pick and roll while Ginobili tries his hand at some threes.  If they hit those early the Suns will certainly have their hands full.  However look for the Suns to justify everything from retribution for past playoff beat-downs to the blockbuster trade with Shaquille O’Neal.

Now Phoenix only needs to click those bright orange sneaker heels together and say… (well you know).

This is why I love sports.  Partly because unlike an engrossing book, or a superb movie, there is almost always that certain sense of unpredictability in any level of sports.  Whereas in most stories laid out in a novel, or a major motion picture, the audience can assure themselves that the good guy will not die, and/or the leading lady will end up with the protagonist (sometimes the author or director will throw you a curve in terms of desired popular outcomes, but not many) .  To an extended degree, because the outcome of any game is ultimately decided by the major players (or often role players), the unpredictability of sports lends itself unique measures of emotional drama.  The beauty of this all is proverbially in the eye of the beholder.  A great example is the memorable gem that was game 1 of the 2008 NBA Playoffs between the Phoenix Suns and the San Antonio Spurs.  If you were a Spurs fan, you’d wholeheartedly agree that the good guys won, as opposed to the multitude of Suns fans who would beg to differ.  A pure nonbiased fan of basketball would acquiesce that the winners are anyone looking for the combination of excitement, drama, insane showcases of athletic prowess and competition.

Fans from all over, media outlets from ESPN to FSN to SPBN (Sportsboner? No? Doesn’t work? OK.), have readily declared this instant classic the best game of the year.  It had everything from an underlying tension between the players, lingering animosity from the past, the feel of not only a playoff game (which it already was) but almost an atmosphere of a game 7 in the NBA Finals no less, and not one but TWO overtime periods.  Not to mention a ridiculous amount of clutch last second shots that made for an overall spectacular display of professional basketball.  And I didn’t watch the game live. :)

While my fanhood/fandom/fanexuality (I made that last one up) can be questioned, I at least taped the game.  Problem is I only got the regulation and none of the OT periods.  It’s a lesson for those of you out there with TiVos, DVRs, or Windows Media Centers.  Not only should you set your hard disk to record the time slot of the game, but the program/time slot following the game in case it goes into overtime.  However I was able to temporarily rectify the problem with an encore presentation by ESPN at 2am.  If you ever tried going through a day in this age of cell phones, text messaging, and emails downloaded to your Treos/Blackberry without hearing about a score of a game you left taped at home, its nearly freaking impossible.  After successfully ignoring my mini-keyboard that happens to have a phone hooked up to it for most of Saturday afternoon, I received a text from one of my buddies that only said, “Dorkass !#@%ing Duncan, can’t stand your Spurs!”  In a momentary lapse of the mind, I opened up that text and the first thing that popped in my mind was that the Spurs won, but upon closer inspection I forgot that my friend Huff would judiciously bash my favorite bball team (or its players) no matter the situation as true friends should do without prejudice (he’s an Oakland Raiders fan, so one can easily understand).  So I did my best to ignore what he had just potentially revealed and after two different viewings (my regulation recording on ABC and the ESPN encore presentation at 2am hereafter), I came away ecstatic and worried at the same time.

Ultimately this is how all games should be, back and forth, unparalleled showcases of talent, emotional rollercoaster rides with every shot, and a freaking three pointer to tie a game in OT number one from a 6 foot 11 power forward that has only made 24 threes out of 126 attempts (19.6%) in his illustrious career.  It certainly was an unbelievable shot, but upon closer inspection one should realize that in practice before many games, Tim Duncan will stray outside that line and make several attempts (word is he even helped win the Shoot Stars Competition on All-Star weekend with a three point shot and a half court shot on first attempt). Certainly he’s capable but that doesn’t mean its a necessity nor a staple for someone who makes a living on the low block with his vastly more effective post moves and offensive skills close under the basket.

Mostly what many can and should take from this game is that the Spurs fought hard, but had some luck in getting this tough win.  From early turnovers, to mental mistakes on D, to a sputtering offense (if not for Duncan’s steady 40 points throughout the game), they will be in trouble soon going against a team like Phoenix who have so much firepower on the offensive side.  Phoenix was complemented with an effective D early on despite foul trouble for Shaquille O’Neal and Amare Stoudemire, but as the game wore on, their true colors showed as San Antonio kept chipping away and took advantage when the Suns ended up giving away several runs to allow the Spurs to cut into a 16 point lead.

What cannot be discounted is how much a factor coaching can be when games are close.  For one in spite of Duncan’s modest insistence that his 3 point prayer to tie the game at the end of the first overtime was not a drawn play, in my-twelve-hour-late-opinion that play was specifically designed for Duncan as he did not once look to cut to the basket but instead rooted himself beyond the line.  O’Neal successfully took the bait getting sucked into doubling Manu Ginobili along with Steve Nash trailing Ginobili who drove towards the basket and instantly (almost a no-look as if he knew Duncan was supposed to be there) flipped it out towards number 21 who took a flat-footed miracle-even-flatter-no-arc-no-spin-desperation 3 that swooshed through the nylons.  Gregg Popavich’s set play at the end of regulation getting Michael Finley the ball for a 3 that tied the game also merits importance as he saw a smaller Leandro Barbosa (who got sidetracked for a second by screening PF Fabricio Oberto) guarding Finley instead of a more effective Grant Hill who was on the bench.  Such nuances are reasons why well-coached teams will almost always get a win against an opponent who is just as good if not somewhat better than them.  Perhaps most telling of all was the game winning layup by Ginobili.  It started with Nash hoisting up a long range 3 falling to his left and out of bounds to tie the game up, and with 15 seconds left, the Spurs did not bother to call a timeout to allow substitutions or the defense to set up.  Running down the court moderately to milk as much as possible of those 15 seconds, Ginobili (now the de facto PG since Parker fouled out) went coast-to-coast and slashed through the Sun’s interior D to awkwardly (not so much awkward for the crunchtime savvy Ginobili but his body position in mid air flying behind the backboard) score the deciding basket.

Thats where the needless homeristic platitudes from yours truly ends (after about 6 paragraphs worth of a Spurs lovefest right? ;) ).  The gritty veteran elder Spurs may have the experience and the mental fortitude to withstand many obstacles to their quest for a championship, but it is clear from the outset that Phoenix can and will run them off the court in the games to come (belying a fact that the Spur’s D can be had) if the Spurs do not find other sources of scoring other than Duncan.  For most of the game their leading scorer, Ginobili and last year’s Finals MVP Tony Parker, were asleep at the wheel until both woke up in the 2nd half and both OTs to push San Antonio over Phoenix.  For the Spurs to win, Ginobili will have to find his offense early and not just in clutch situations (although thankfully this Argentinian fool is crazy clutch), and Parker will have to continue to slice into the lane like he always does in hopes of easy baskets as well as easy fouls on the Sun’s big men.

Phoenix in turn needs to ignore everything that’s happened thus far, even if they aren’t accustomed to O’Neal’s patented rough honesty to the media concerning the other team or the refs, and stay focused for the WHOLE game not just only 42 minutes out of 48.  Their offensive array starts with Nash and spreads contagiously through Stoudemire, Raja Bell, Boris Diaw, O’Neal, Barbosa and even Hill.  So while scoring won’t be a problem, the age old stereotype that defense wins championships cannot be overstated enough.  The Suns seem fully capable of playing solid D (with that kind of relentless scoring, you only need solid defense), and since this is only game 1, it remains to be seen how successful Phoenix will be in exorcising it’s playoff demons especially against their roughshod rivals in San Antonio.

Truth be told other than my man-love for the Spurs, few will argue with me when I say this series (not just this game) was on everyone’s radar in terms of premiere matchups even this early in the postseason.  So it comes to no surprise that if I couldn’t watch it live and had to tape it, then I did not watch any of the other games on Saturday.  I did however notice the ridiculous box score/highlights of Chris Paul dismantling the Dallas Mavericks in his playoff debut, and in a lesser limelight, Deron William’s terrific job in leading the Utah Jazz over the Houston Rockets.  Both teams certainly will be primed to go deep in the playoffs if their PGs play as well as they did on Saturday.

Sunday was more of the same only I was able to catch a few games, as some higher seeded favorites took advantage and won game one.  The Orlando  Magic weathered a few comeback storms but ultimately won behind Dwight Howard’s huge game posting 25 points and 22 boards!  The Los Angeles Lakers abused the Denver Nugget’s lack of any defense running layup drills through the Nuggets with Pau Gasol’s 36 points most coming on easy dunks, and lay-ins steadied by Kobe Bryant’s 32.  Denver led early on in the game, but eventually gave way to the Lakers.  It’s a common theme observed thus far early in the postseason, with various teams giving up double digit leagues only to eventually lose the game.  From Phoenix, to Denver to even shockingly the huge chalk Detroit Pistons.  Once again tearing through the regular season, the Pistons head into the playoffs with well-deserved high expectations especially against a bottom-tier-happy-to-be-here Philadelphia 76ers who field a bevy of young inexperienced players.  On the road however, the Sixers withstood the methodical half-court plodding of the Pistons early on and made their move in coming back from 15 midway through the 3rd quarter.  Detroit is too much of a veteran team to fold now after only one game, but facing a more energetic team with nothing to lose, the Pistons will caution to not take the 7th seeded Sixers lightly now that they are already down 1 game.  On the other side of the pond, it was business as usual for the Boston Celtics staking their position in their anticipated journey to the Finals.  In control the whole game vs. the wayward Atlanta Hawks, the Celtics demonstrated why they had the best regular season record and with strength on both sides of the ball, their only focus now is…  their focus.  The question was and will be here on out if that extra focus to play hard-nosed defense, to get the extra rebounds, and to make any hustle plays necessary will be there throughout the tourney.

Sure it’s only been one game, and with only one significant upset, things played out the way most envisioned before the first tip-off this past weekend.  However the beauty of basketball details that because it is a seven game series there is much to be decided yet.  The players who walked off the court winners holding their heads up high may yet be drooping them in disappointment in two weeks.  Thats the great thing about unscripted stories played out before us (in high definition even).  You just never know, the bad guy may dispatch the hero in the end, steal the girl and drive off in the sunset slapping grown men’s butts along the way.

When the 2008 playoffs begin this Saturday, the two teams with the best records (Boston, Detroit) reside in the Eastern Conference, yet in that same conference four different teams will either be barely treading above a .500 record or a straight losing record even.  If the 8th seed Denver Nuggets were able to take their 50-32 record to the LEastern Conference, they would be good for the 4th seed behind the Celtics, Pistons, and Magic.  That being said, this Western-Conference-no-holds-barred-steel-cage-ladder-match-last-man-standing-do-you-smell-what-the-Rock-is-cooking-slugfest is shaping up to be one helluva 1st round.  Whereas in the East, it’s expected that Boston and Detroit SHOULD advance out of the opening round, in the West if say the Nuggets drown the Lakers, the Mavericks sting the Hornets, the Suns burn the Spurs, and the Rockets blast the Jazz; there would not be a discernible outcry of shock outside of maybe a Denver upset over Los Angeles. The copious amount of superstar matchups in the West ranging from Carmelo “Last Call” Anthony and The Answer to Kobe “Box Office” Bryant to name a few make for no shortages of star-studded lineups.  To be fair the East (aside from potential laughers from the 1/8 and 2/7 seeded matchups) have some promising competitive series between the Cavaliers and Wizards as well as the Magic taking on the Raptors.

Which brings us to the question who will be playing in the Finals?  In the East, in my unsubstantiated opinion, the short list consists of the Celtics, Pistons, and Cavaliers.  The Celtics quite simply because they have the best record in the whole league, led by 3 legitimate superstars, a bolstered bench coupled with young role players who have stepped up, and a 1st class defense that will be tested deep in the playoffs.  Despite this silly amateur journalist’s premonition earlier in the season that Boston would fizzle late in the year after I declared their peak to have…  well peaked back in early December, the Celtics have continued to prove me wrong with a strong finish, one of the best single season turnarounds from lottery hopeful status to elite championship contenders, and sport a stellar record against Western Conference teams to top off the cake that was their regular season.  However in the post season, they will face obstacles such as not underestimating their opponents (sounds simple but ask the 2007 Dallas Mavericks after game 3 of their 1st round embarrassment when it was too late), the hump that is the Detroit Pistons who gave each other fits throughout their regular season matchups, and the intense-pink-chain-smoking-elephant-in-the-room pressure heaped on their team because they wear the same jersey that Larry Legend wore and expects nothing less than another banner to hang from the prestigious storied rafters of the Celtics franchise.

The Pistons will face the same questions they have faced since Larry Brown left the team, with their core-starters still running the show and a somewhat deeper bench, can they return to the Finals with Flip Saunders at the helm, will they underachieve once again, will their offense inexplicably fizzle again, will they finally double team LeBron James?  As for King James and the Cavaliers, I honestly don’t expect a repeat of last year’s run even if his supporting class is slightly better on paper.  Although with LeBron James and cliches flying out my arse, anything is possible when he’s on your team.  He could conceivably coast through the Wizards series, catch the Celtics in an offensive drought complemented by some events of bad luck, or bad calls, do his usual superb scoring sprinkled in with assists and rebounds, and then catch fire (again) against the Pistons (as they decide to stay at home on Ben Wallace who averages 4.2 ppg instead of double teaming James) on their way to a consecutive Finals appearance.  If he accomplishes this again, he deserves the MVP, but of course the award goes for the regular season and the Finals MVP goes to the most valuable of the series not the whole playoffs and thats just a whole other can filled with worms that I rather not open right now.

As for the cock-fight in the Western Conference, it’d be easier for me to tell you who’s NOT a viable contender for a Finals appearance: The Phoenix Suns.  I am foolishly declaring this based on the farfetched concession that karma will not allow this.  Then again if I am steadfast in this assumption I should also include the Los Angeles Lakers and San Antonio Spurs for the highway robbery they called the Gasol Trade and the Kurt “Crazy Eyes” Thomas Trade, respectively wherein each team was pathetically robbed of their peanuts and “burdened” with former ROY, All-Star low-post beast Pau Gasol or the underappreciated overactive defender/rebound extraordinaire-I-look-like-I’m-about-to-follow-you-into-a-closet-and-bash-you-over-the-head-with-an-iPod-nano-Kurt-Thomas.  Anyways back to my rant/bashfest on the Suns.  Not so much the Suns but specifically Shaquille O’Neal.  Sure if anyone directly associated with the NBA happened to read this and relayed it to O’Neal, and if he happened to care I probably would still say this to his face as long as I get a running start and there’s 50 yards between my face and his.  Be that as it may, his flip-flopping, lack of effort when things aren’t rosy, but can suddenly become vibrant like two bottles of Viagra when the right courter comes cooing, is quite annoying if not entertaining.  Does this sound familiar? O’Neal comes to camp overweight amidst rumblings from his coach, and teammates, he jumps ship to another team and shows up in shape, losing about 20 lbs.  He bashes the alpha-dog-former-teammate, while annointing his new running mate the best player in the league as well as whispering sweet nothings to his new coach.  The honeymoon may be in a different city each time, but the divorce is always messy.  If you need a recap from the last 15 years or so, try my little Madlibs style summary starring The Diesel:

Template:

1) Players Name: Penny Hardaway, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, Amare Stoudemire

2) Coach’s Name: Brian Hill, Phil Jackson, Pat Riley, Mike D’Antoni

3) Team’s Name: Magics, Lakers, Heat, Suns

4) City’s Name: Orlando, Los Angeles, Miami, Phoenix

- Shaq: (Current Teammate Player’s Name) is the best player in the league.  Period.  (Former Disgruntled Player’s Name), is the past, he couldn’t handle playing with the Big Aristotle.  (Current Teammate Player’s Name) is more willing to put egos aside and work for the best of the team.  I’m a team player, I’ve always been one to follow orders if I feel like the coach respects me and if (Current Coach’s Name) wants me to come to training camp in shape, then I’m gonna follow orders. I’ll get in shape.  It’s not a matter of doing, but motivation.  I’m glad to be with the (Team’s Name), where I’m wanted and I’m ready to bring a championship to (City’s Name)!!

Now away from the soap opera and back to the liquid explosive bloggorhea that is my excerpt, I believe the West is just about as wide open a toss-up that one can fathom for the right to a Finals berth.  Starting from the bottom, Denver is just as capable of blowing any opponent away by 20+ points as they are from stinking up the joint and losing by 20+ at the same time.  Dallas meanwhile at the 7th seed, a low tier seed for the first time in half a decade actually may benefit from the absence of the overwhelming pressure that has hobbled them in the past.  If anything they are my one true darkhorse pick if they can continue to develop with Kidd while Nowitski desperately tries to get the bad taste out of his mouth that is the 2006 and 2007 playoffs (OK maybe they aren’t totally absolved of pressure).  If memory serves in reading other articles and stat analysts concerning the Mavericks since the blockbuster trade, they have blown out every sub-par team while losing to the elite teams within only 10 points or so.  That may not spell momentum or playoff confidence, but it belies a fact that maybe this team is better than most think as they are vastly better than the rest of the league, but against their elite peers they have fallen short due to a combination of bad luck, one shot off, a couple breaks needed, and a progression still in progress in developing chemistry with newly acquired Jason Kidd.

In the middle of the pack in the West, Phoenix (notwithstanding my crazed-bitter-karma-inducing-criticism) has a great shot to go to the Finals as well now that they’ve finally adjusted and learned how to use O’Neal and have revenge on their minds against the Spurs for last year’s controversial whinefest that was the 2nd round (I criticize because I am a Spurs homer, and because it was HILARIOUS that my favorite team was labeled a dirty team when their only conceivable “enforcer” is a guy who would be mistaken more for Will Smith than a thug with alterior motives).  The Suns always gives the Spurs fits in the playoffs, and don’t be surprised if this year is finally the year that they get past their longtime postseason nemesis.  This brings us to Houston who despite a magical season, and despite me rooting heavily for them to get out of the first round for McGrady’s sake also have a good chance to go to the Finals.  A stout D anchored by their team chemistry and various scoring options (their weak link but still capable) plus a quirk in the seedings where they are the lower seed but own the homefield advantage over the higher seeded Jazz by way of a one game difference in their records, gives the Rockets what they need to paste the Jazz in retribution for last year’s game 7 loss and the fact that Utah is night and day in terms of their performances at home and on the road.  On the other side, the Jazz have a great starting 5, they are led by an elite PG in Deron Williams who could arguably be as good if not better than Chris Paul only due to Paul’s marketability and charisma along with William’s lack of media exposure out in Utah.  If they solve their road game woes, they can make serious noise in the playoffs.

Rounding out the top, we have your defending champions San Antonio Spurs who in true fashion are flying under the radar (as always) the way they’d prefer.  The lop-sided trade that landed them Kurt Thomas while also sneakingly re-acquiring Brent Barry a month later who was in that trade to Seattle only to be dropped by the former assistant-now-current-Sonics’ GM-Sam Presti, did not get much press outside of hardcore NBA pundits’ media coverage, but will surely be a key cog in the Spur’s effort to repeat.  Their concerns range from their age (everyone), injuries to Robert Horry (please come back, Matt Bonner is getting your minutes), and the fact that though they can pretend to exude that quiet-we-know-everyone-thinks-we’re-boring-and-we-get-no-press-but-we’re-about-to-whale-on-you, they have not exactly lighted up March and April like in years past.  Nevertheless being as tight as the West is, the Spurs may just be taking it easy (the Lakers did it often in their Bryant/O’Neal triple championship years) on their older vets, letting their players heal up (aka Parker, Ginobili, and Horry), but ultimately not overexert themselves until when it counts.  I hope so at least, or I will be sad that I won’t get to see Eva Longoria Parker’s mug constantly flashed across the screen as ABC reminds us that she used to go out with former N’Sync member J.C. Chasez.

This leaves us with the top two seeds Los Angeles and New Orleans.  Critics point to the Hornet’s lack of experience and yet others remind us that Peja Stojakovic has plenty of playoff experience.  Too bad it was only with the Kings, and he choked on all cylinders along with the rest of the team whoever wasn’t named Bibby in that infamously but wildly entertaining series with the Lakers of old back in 2002.  Well the only way to gain experience is to get your feet wet right? Look for the Hornets to prove as such when they take on the Mavericks in round 1.  My only beef is crapping the bed in their regular season finale to allow the Mavericks to win so that they could turn around and play them.  Not only is it a slap to the face for the Mavs and a source of extra motivation (telling them that the Hornets prefer to play them because they believe they can beat them in a 7 game series), its also an eerie similarity to last year’s Mavs crapping the philosophical bed and goosegging it against the Warriors instead of putting them away and seeing them in the first round and….  well you know.  Other than that, the number one seeded Los Angeles Lakers driven by an insane-chip-on-his-shoulder-you-better-give-me-the-MVP-Kobe-Bryant will be your favorites as well as everyone’s favorites.  In a wild race to the finish, Black Mamba and his crew pushed strong at the end to grab the top rank and firm control of their playoff destiny.

In truth what begins on Saturday will purely be entertaining and competitive, yet unpredictable at the same time with mostly anyone having a shot at the title.  Ideally the NBA, the corporate bigwigs, and pretty much all the casual fans will wet themselves thinking about a potential super-blockbuster-throwback Celtics/Lakers heavyweight matchup, but don’t come be surprised if its another “bland/boring” slugfest between the Pistons and Spurs.  Just try to take off the glamour goggles and enjoy basketball at its best in it’s premiere showcase, the Finals.  Besides you have next year to look forward to when the new, flashy and badass Supersonics of Oklahoma City stake their claim as the powerhouse tradition of NBA basketball in a state deep rooted in NBA heritage :)

Prediction: San Antonio Spurs in 5 games over the Boston Celtics

Oh and by the way: FREE MICHAEL VICK…(joking) I meant SAVE THE SONICS! (well hell free Vick while you’re at it)

Good wood. Solid spank. Major League crank. No it’s not a lame phrase uttered in a B-movie on Skinemax, though it could very much be. Rather, Craig Kilborn’s archival catchphrase exemplifies a quirky sport rooted deep in memorable history rich with tradition yet mired in so much controversy that would make even Richard Nixon blush. We have plenty of time to hash over b12 vitamins, grown men poking each other in the butt, misremembering Jose Canseco’s pool party, and diming out your wife, but after all, baseball lasts all summer and my lazy b12-free butt needs fodder to write about as evidenced by my poor output the last month (only one article in March, my apologies to fellow cubicle-procrastinators). Until then you guys can be graced by a week-late preview of the 2008 season in which as of press time, the Kansas City Royals are the last undefeated team in the league sitting atop the American League Central Division while the Washington Nationals led by Matt Chico are ruling the roost that is the National League Eastern Division.

(Here comes the proverbial curveball) How often do you rifle through endless internet drivel full of ramblings, analysis, and predictions only to realize at the end of the article that the author had no idea what he was talking about? Well yours truly won’t give you that satisfaction. It’s easier to for me to regurgitate the ERA, WHIP, and BAAs of Boof Bonser and Shawn Estes than tell you who is a legitimate contender for the pennant. With 30 teams, 162 games and 30 something odd players, its too much to ask of a slothful part-time amateur sports journalist. However I suppose I can try my best.

From the defending champs to the perennial cellar dwellers that is my favorite team the Texas Rangers, one can expect another season in which some obscure team in the National League rises out of the shadow into prominence while the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees dominate the headlines yet again. Top to bottom, the Red Sox at first glance look to be stacked. A lineup starring sluggers such as Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz and Mike Lowell sprinkled in with some young talent such as Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury will stay potent backed up by a pitching frontline (when healthy) of Josh Beckett, Curt Schilling, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Jon Lester and not to mention superb closer Jonathon Papelbon make for a studded team looking for its 3rd title in 5 years.

Their main archrivals, the New York Yankees come into 2008 with the same questions but saddled with some potentially different answers. Without mainstay manager Joe Torre, the Yankees still field an explosive offense led by Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, and Johnny Damon. However as its been in the past few years, their starting pitching comes into question with no real discernible ace but instead several 2nd tier hurlers in Mike Mussina, Chien Ming Wang, and Andy Pettitte. Although if youngsters Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy pan out as well as Joba Chamberlain who is expected to be moved from bullpen to starter (a big mistake if you ask me), New York should be in the thick of the pennant race as they always seem to be.

Do not be surprised though if the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, yes the Devil Rays squeeze into an always tight American League East race. They own a deceivingly more efficient pitching staff complemented by a young dynamic offense that only needs a few big wins to produce some much needed confidence and swagger in order to make any serious noise against the Beantown/Big Apple juggernauts. A bit late to say and still early to confirm but Kansas City’s early success could translate into a season rip through the central where the Minnesota Twins have taken a step back giving up Johan Santana for a bag of purple hairy potatoes, and also lost local icon Torii Hunter to free agency. The Chicago White Sox may not be as strong as years past, so with only a solid Cleveland Indians team looking to return to the ALCS to deal with, the Royals may have a shot as they have to be riding high with the recent sweep of a good Tigers team expected to bounce back one year removed from the World Series.

As for everyone else since I don’t have the inherent know-how nor tolerance to break down each team, let’s just say that I personally will be looking forward to watching the Washington Nationals, New York Mets, Texas Rangers, and Cincinnati Reds for they are/were on my radar of sleeper teams in 2008. I really did pick the Nationals as hard as it is to believe a week after the season started and they nearly swept the Philadelphia Phillies. It is a long season obviously and they could still end up 70-92 for the year. The Mets because I might as well hitch on to at least one bandwagon laced with Jose Reyes, David Wright and Johan Santana. Now with the Reds, I do like rooting for Ken Griffey Jr., one of my favorite baseball players, owner of the sweetest homerun swing, a pure combination of smoothness, power and grace that it certainly qualifies as a bona fide sportsboner inducing baseball gem (in that nonhomoerotic sexual way). That and I’ve drafted the gimpy future hall of famer 8 years in a row in fantasy baseball. I’m stuck with him, and it never fails, I’ve always drafted him 5 rounds too early only to watch him fetal position himself a season ending injury before the All-Star game one too many times. But like a crazy-burn-your-mattress-while-you-were-out-psychotic-girlfriend, I keep coming back for more, and I am not ashamed. Concerning the Texas Arlington Rangers, they are my personal Cubs, perpetual lovable losers. Maybe not lovable but losers nonetheless (not one postseason appearance in more than 10 years? I think). The good thing about baseball or at least baseball on Opening Day (last Monday, not the Japanese fake one with the Red Sox and Athletics) is the enduring hope that the season is fresh anew and maybe just maybe this year is our year! At least until that first pitch.