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Super Party Guacamole Bowl (Hey Isn’t That John Candy?)

January 30th, 2008

Super Sunday… ethereally it entails: the big-budget-eye-candied-commercials, some deep-impact-bean-dips, the-sweet-syrupy diabetic-inducing-tantalizations-of-Coke, not to mention the-endless-golden-stream-of-beechwood-aged-Budweiser (or whatever beer may satisfy your palate), the wonder that is 100 million Americans going to the bathroom at exactly the same time (halftime) with the possible chance that 35% (I totally made this number up) of said toilets will be clogged (8 million pounds of guacamole, 8 million pounds of bean dips, you could imagine!).

Whatever the case, Super Bowl Sunday is truly something special to me, and to many Americans. Uniquely it combines everything great about Christmas and at the same time leaves everything bad about the holiday seasons out. Whereas Christmas is the time of joy and peace to all men as well as love and fellowship with your loved ones, many can attest that this time of year can bring on a certain stress that inevitably comes with being forced to spend a couple of days with your relatives, in-laws, and the invariably drunk uncle. Christmas can also induce a feel of loneliness for those who unfortunately have no one to spend December 25th with.

With the Super Bowl, there is no social pressure to force yourself to not be alone. Instead the socially acceptable options range from watching the game from the comforts of your living room with delivered pizza, hosting a ruckus Super Bowl party with your friends (thats right, unlike Christmas, you can choose who you want to spend time with, not who you have to spend time with just because blood is thicker than…. well you know), or even stumbling down to your local bar and yucking it up with fellow sports fans.

Not to bag on Christmas because don’t get me wrong, I love my family (I do!), but in my opinion in terms of camaraderie, and a general good feeling with little stress (preparing a 10 lb turducken for a big family vs. dumping a bag of chips in a bigass bowl with 2lbs worth of store bought Tostito’s queso con salsa?), Super Sunday wins hands down. It doesn’t matter who is playing, sometimes I think the fact that theoretically these two teams are the best teams in the league playing for it all at the very least lends itself to a built-in excuse to party. After all, it’s the only football game that’s on, and it’s for all the marbles.

Ironically, the first football game I ever watched was a Super Bowl game. Super Bowl XXIII (1989): the Cincinnati Bengals vs. the San Francisco 49ers. Boy did I choose a helluva game to watch as my very first one. Six years old sitting in the kitchen/living room of my family’s two bedroom apartment on the 19 inch RCA technicolor TV, we watched Joe Montana lead a 92 yard drive with 3:20 left in the 4th quarter to score the go-ahead TD to John Taylor to win their 4th Lombardi Trophy. I get to boast about how I got to watch “Joe Cool” calmly lead his team to victory while claiming that he saw the late John Candy in the stands (to lighten the tense pressure packed mood in the huddle during the NFL Title Game), but I cannot back that up as when I was six years old, my only concern was “when are they showing the Bud Bowl again? (note to advertisers: bring back the Bud Bowl!) So though I bleed silver, blue and Romosexualism, there is a special memory of Joe Montana, Jerry Rice and Ronnie Lott whenever I think of football and its queen bee, the Super Bowl.

And while this rant has virtually nothing to do with the Patriots or the Giants (preview and picks later this week hopefully), it serves as a reminder that while you may not be the biggest fan of New England or New York, heck you may not be a fan of pigskin football, but truth be told, this artificial holiday is nothing short of spectacular. There is something for everyone. The biggest television event of the year expects nothing less. Come for E. Manning, stay for the Justin Timberlake commercial :)

Author: Son Categories: NFL

Super Bye Week

January 25th, 2008

Remember when the Super Bowl was entrenched firmly on the last Sunday of January, by customary coincidence almost to the point of being legally able to call it a national holiday. An unnecessarily long preseason that also coincides with the NFL pushing the opening weekend to after Labor Day (1999) had resulted in the Conference Championships concluding with the Super Bowl one week later. However when the NFL decided to bring back the two week break before Super Sunday, this resulted in the biggest football/television event of the year being saddled in February. No big deal right? Personally this reeks of the same misconception that corporate suits from the BCS believe us football fanatics and/or casual fans can’t get enough of football. In my worthless opinion, football is that more special than their counterpart sports because of the short bursts that we are exposed to it. From September until the end of January (traditionally), those 5 months are ideal for gathering with friends, tailgating, lounging on the couch on those lazy Sunday afternoons and watching grown men tackle each other. Too much of a good thing can be bad. From 24/7 NFL Network coverage of Tom Brady’s bowel movements to ESPN’s supermarket-tabloid-quality-paparazzi-style stalking of Tony Romo’s mating habits to the blitzkrieg of blogs (eek!) and talk radio, one starts to get weary of overexposure. To me Opening Day for MLB, Opening Night for NBA, College and NFL kickoff weekends are certainly things to get pumped up about because it signifies the beginning of new season not unlike ringing in the new year, with new resolutions, and a clean slate. In sports this means that the dawn of a new season brings new hope to your favorite team who are 0-0 and anything is possible. However, by the time its the end of the season and your team is 1-15, the last thing you want to see is more football. Even if your team is 16-0 and you don’t want this year to ever end, in the back of your mind, the depths of your soul, and the innermost area of your perforated colon (from all the bean dips on Sunday), you know you want some closure. In football, this is somewhat tolerable even if they are pushing it with a Super Bowl in February. In baseball, hockey and basketball, this tends to drag on even longer especially if you’re a Minnesota Timberwolves fan. Or a Texas Rangers fan (for the last like gagillion years).

It’s definitely not a deal breaker by any means, just something for me to harp on since there’s nothing else to talk about this weekend. I did notice this trend when the National Title game for collegiate football stopped being played on New Years Day, instead a week later somewhere in the January 8th-10th area. What’s next? The BCS Championship Bowl game being played on January 31st, and the Super Bowl landing on February 14th? Though that may not be possible, its funny to think how many divorces would be filed, how many beds would be empty, how many sofas throughout the world would be “occupado” and how many men would be castrated if the Super Bowl were ever to land on Valentine’s Day.

Some random unorganized thoughts about the Conference Championships:

1.) Frank Stallone err Eli Manning is in the Super Bowl!

2.) Brett Favre had a great year, but this is like their 2nd playoff lost at Lambeau Field in this decade alone which has effectively lost its luster as an intimidating place to play postseason ball. 2-4 since Mike Holmgren left, and that is without considering the fact that throughout his illustrious career, Favre still only has 1 Super Bowl ring to show for with the 90s Dallas Cowboys, 90s San Francisco 49ers and 1998 John Elway being major obstacles to Fahvera owning at least 3 rings. Great player, Hall of Fame shoo-in, one of the best QBs of all time… but the media love affair and the kid gloves need to come off. Harsh, but this guy should have gotten more. I would be lucky to even sniff a fraction of Favre’s success, but the way blind love by the national media overshadows this man’s postseason struggles only shows that well, blind love is bliss (it’s the only chance I have :) ). Before I get murderlized by Favre supporters (assuming anyone reads this), I do realize if Tony Romo isn’t careful he will tread down this road as well, only his will be more mediocre and obscure being his failures have come in the first playoff games, and he’s already 27 (late career start after riding pine for many years). However my negativity doesn’t sit well with me, so I’m convincing myself there’s plenty of time for Romo. Even for Favre. This is a young team, assuming he comes back next year, anything can and will happen. If John Elway can do it (and he did at age 38), so can Favre (who’s 38 now)… maybe.

3.) Philip Rivers is one tough mo-fo. LaDainian Tomlinson is the biggest scapegoat this side of the Mississippi (assuming he didn’t want to play though reports said it was the coach’s decision). Although I would say in a playoff game this big, can any one coach keep someone of his caliber on the sidelines?

4.) Eli effing Manning… is in the Super Bowl, and this isn’t some Trent-Dilfer-piggy-back-ride/quest for the Lombardi Trophy, he actually mattered!

5.) Eli freaking Manning got the best of Tiki-quit-effing-smiling-Barber. Bwahahahaha :)

6.) Tom Brady throws 3 INTs in what was/is the worst game of his stellar season and the Pats still win the game. Scary to think what the team is capable of with 2 weeks off in the big dance. Although this also smells ripe of an unexpected potential underdog win (more on this later in my Super Bowl preview rant).

7.) Although the cards are lined up for the Pats, Randy Moss’s legal troubles, and Brady’s phantom or not so phantom ankle injury could be enough of a distraction.

8.) Eli bleeping Manning (OK I’ll stop), but I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of seeing Archie Manning looking worried (better word is constipated) at every game his kids’ are playing in.

Speaking of constipation, better clear that sphincter for some major eating February 3rd!

Author: Son Categories: NFL

NFL Conference Championships Preview (yawn)

January 18th, 2008


Call it selfishness, call it wishful thinking, but ultimately I think it was a collective super jinx from sports fan all over the world (excluding deserving Giants and Chargers fans of course). Any avid sports fan would agree that a conference match-up between New England and Indianapolis as well as Green Bay against Dallas could have been THE ultimate sports boner. Alas it was not meant to be. Instead of Norv Turner choking like everyone expected, it was instead the Colt’s defense. Instead of Patrick Crayton backing up his trash-talk, it was instead the two drops and quitting on a straight route to the end zone (for a potential game-winning TD) that spoke louder than any of his inane comments. Instead of Indianapolis taking advantage of LaDainian Tomlinson AND Philip Rivers (and Antonio Gates but he was already not a factor) being out of the game, they let Billy “Shooting Blanks” Volek and Darren “Little Tank” Sproles take advantage of THEM. Instead of Tony Romo catapulting that 300 lb monkey off his back, it’s gained another 100 lbs and will be around for at least until next January.

With no apologies to the scrappy Chargers and the equally opportunistic Giants, they both have earned the right to spoil the last bastion of hope for a blockbuster Super Bowl. Because lets face it, in the last 10 years or so the match-ups have been especially snore inducing. Ever since the Denver Broncos beat up on the grossly overmatched Atlanta Falcons, we have had more boring Super Bowls than exciting ones. Although some of the winners (such as the Colts, Steelers, and Patriots) garner media darling status coupled with a good fan base, some of their opponents (Bears, Seahawks, and the Panthers to name a few) were just not as venerable as their counterparts in terms of appeal even if they fielded very good and respectable teams. It’s not a coincidence that most of those teams are from the NFC. This is why in 2007, Dallas and Green Bay represented some semblance of hope to bring balance to the league (at least short-term).
So now although the Packers and Patriots will (hopefully) have their hands full with the Giants and Chargers, respectively… it can be safe to say that if both somehow make it to the big game that there will be a natural divide between hardcore and casual fans alike not seen in some time on Super Sunday. However there are still the conference games to be played, so before another jinx can be hexed, let’s take a peek at the match-ups.

Starting with the early game, the Chargers will be hard pressed to duplicate the success they’ve had in the playoffs so far against the best team in the league. Rivers took huge strides as a professional QB in carving up the Colt’s D last week before a sprained knee knocked him out of the game. He is listed as questionable, but backup Volek came in and admirably did well enough to keep the Colts at bay. Oddly enough (not unlike the Cowboys), the game was always in reach for Manning and Indianapolis yet they could not get it done. This huge win for the Bolts comes in a game where overcoming calls against them, a raucous home crowd and insurmountable odds will surely mean that lightning will not strike twice against New England. An effective dose of Tomlinson (who is expected to play), turnover-free performance by whoever is under center, and a continual aggressive swarming by the defense will be the only chance San Diego will have of sniffing an upset over the Patriots. Other than the recent controversy over Moss and a “friend” who’s accused him of assault, the Pats are chugging along and business as usual look to dominate on both sides of the ball. Recent history has shown New England’s supremacy over San Diego and last season’s choke job by the Chargers only adds salt to the wound that also includes an embarrassing loss to a vengeful Patriots team fresh off of the camera controversy surrounding Bill Belichick. By all accounts San Diego has no chance in this game, so although you should expect New England to win and win thoroughly, weirder things have happened (and happened recently).

Last week’s Favre-on-national-tv-playing-grab-ass-with-Donald-Driver-by-throwing-snow-balls-at-him-while-beating-the-crap-

-out-of-Seattle-in-the-freezing-snow-in-HDTV had all the elements of a very entertaining playoff game. The elements, a super star QB, a high scoring blowout, and of course grab ass in the snow. Somewhere John Madden’s head exploded during this game. Now instead of traveling to Big D to take on the Cowboys in what would have been a nice turn-the-clock-back-to-the-early-90s retro marquee NFC championship game, the Giants and Eli (who can do no wrong at this point) earned (and I mean earned with the way the Boys choked last week) the right to take on Favre and probably 90% of America. The superb pass-rush that have been New York’s bread and butter will obviously need to get in Fahvera’s face while also not conveniently forgetting Ryan Grant (a former Giant) running through their defense. Although E. Manning was sacked 3 times, he did not turn over the ball, and made 12 out of 18 passes (confirming my concerns all season of a weak Dallas 2ndary). It’s very rare for a playoff team to win 3 games in a row ON THE ROAD just to get to the Super Bowl. So the odds are heavily stacked against New York. Not to mention that both games that they have played in were in nice weather, which assuredly won’t be the case at Lambeau where the HIGH is expected to be in the ice-for-boogers zone.

Both the Giants and the Chargers were huge underdogs last week, and coming into this week that has not changed. However what could change is a potential blockbuster Super Bowl thwarted by a possible New York vs. San Diego game in Glendale, Arizona. Though that wouldn’t be so bad… they could spice the game up by allowing former number one pick Eli Manning to play for the team who actually drafted him and Philip Rivers (health permitting) to play for the team who eventually dangled him as trade bait to the Chargers. Wishful thinking… but I’m getting ahead of myself . :) I just don’t want to be unconscious 2 minutes into the 2nd half of the Super Bowl, yet again.

Author: Son Categories: NFL

Sportsboner.com presents: The Drivel (The Lakeshow and the NFL Divisional Playoffs Chat Session)

January 11th, 2008

8:34:22 PM Sam: lets do it..im ready!

8:35:00 PM Son Trinh: alright Sam welcome to another chat session. I think we’ll call it “the drivel”

8:35:07 PM Son Trinh: since thats all we do

8:35:47 PM Sam: hey man

8:36:29 PM Sam: whats up

8:36:36 PM Son Trinh: took me all day at work to come up with that

8:36:59 PM Son Trinh: (by the way we’re so fake, saying whats up when we’ve been chatting “behind the curtain” for an hour already)

8:37:09 PM Son Trinh: whats up Sam!

8:37:17 PM Sam: haha, they don’t need to know that

8:37:40 PM Sam: the Pistons are killing the Spurs right now

8:37:50 PM Son Trinh: I see that

8:38:16 PM Sam: Barkley said that if Rasheed had the killer mentality of MJ he would be top 3 in the league

8:38:41 PM Son Trinh: if the Spurs were 29-4 through January like the Celtics, I’d be worried

8:39:01 PM Son Trinh: I agree with that, then again wouldn’t that apply to basically everyone? lol

8:39:10 PM Son Trinh: the NBA and guaranteed contracts! gotta love it

8:39:25 PM Sam: no joke

8:39:45 PM Sam: give me a year to ride the nba pine, and i’d be happy

8:40:46 PM Son Trinh: aka Matt Geiger or Larry Hughes or all five 6 foot 9 power forwards on the Knicks’ roster

8:41:53 PM Sam: exactly

8:42:01 PM Sam: i could get fat too

8:42:22 PM Sam: i know the knicks would still sign me

8:42:22 PM Son Trinh: so let’s ignore the obvious stories like the Celtics incredible… incredibly annoying run at the Bull’s old regular season wins record, let’s also ignore the feel-good stories of the Hornets, and Trailblazers, and the way the Spurs plod through the regular season getting ready to whoop on everyone in the playoffs

8:42:33 PM Son Trinh: tell me what is UP with the Lakers?

8:42:58 PM Son Trinh: (LOL @ the Knickerbockers)

8:45:22 PM Sam: the supporting cast is getting better

8:45:41 PM Sam: Farmar and Crittendon?? are maturing into better players

8:45:45 PM Sam: Odom is finally healthy

8:46:07 PM Sam: Bynum is playing for his contract extension

8:46:13 PM Sam: hats what got into him

8:46:18 PM Sam: thats..

8:46:34 PM Sam: and Kobe doesn’t have to carry the team, unless its necessary

8:46:47 PM Son Trinh: typo!?! wtf (what the fudge for our underage audience, doubtful) LOL

8:47:11 PM Son Trinh: OK so what’s the deal then? this is the same team from last year. almost the same from 2 years ago

8:47:25 PM Son Trinh: Oh I know… the media wants you to think they are bad

8:47:43 PM Son Trinh: and they want the drama, they need it (maybe we do too) like crack

8:47:58 PM Son Trinh: it seems to me the Lakers start most of this stuff, and the media takes it and run

8:48:53 PM Son Trinh: I mean how can you ignore the fact that, the one year Phil Jackson isn’t coaching them, they miss the playoffs… when he returns, they make it… and when Kobe Bryant gives half a crap, they are competitive in the playoffs

8:48:54 PM Sam: well, Farmar was a rook last year

8:48:59 PM Sam: and he’s even better this year

8:49:14 PM Son Trinh: so the formula is: Phil Jackson = playoffs, and Kobe Bryant (giving a crap) = contention

8:49:15 PM Sam: they also have trevor ariza filling in nicely

8:49:15 PM Son Trinh: right?

8:49:31 PM Sam: well you always have a chance w/ kobe

8:49:57 PM Son Trinh: not to mention Derek Fisher is the calm force they need I would have to guess

8:49:58 PM Sam: but he Did mail it in that playoff game 7 against the Suns 2 years ago

8:50:25 PM Son Trinh: yes I agree

8:51:20 PM Sam: yeah, Fisher has helped the team more than I though he would

8:51:25 PM Son Trinh: Well I would have to say its shaping up to be a helluva season for the NBA after all the drama over the summer. The East still stinks IMO, but the West is just crazy up for grabs

8:52:02 PM Sam: theres no clear frontrunner in the West

8:52:28 PM Sam: and then in the East, after Boston and Detroit the quality just falls off

8:52:53 PM Son Trinh: yeh

8:53:17 PM Son Trinh: Well we’ll have plenty of hoops including collegiate after the football season ends

8:53:26 PM Son Trinh: let’s jump right into it Sam, who do you like this weekend

8:53:51 PM Son Trinh: the Jags, the San Diego SuperChargers, the Colts, or the Patriots

8:54:43 PM Son Trinh: on the other spectrum, do you like the New York Football Giants, the Los Cabos Vaqueros, the Seattle Starbucks, or the Green Bay Packers?

8:55:46 PM Sam: Cowboys

8:55:49 PM Sam: Pats

8:55:53 PM Sam: Packers

8:55:55 PM Sam: Colts

8:56:23 PM Son Trinh: all favorites… lol Ok Mr. Public Opinion, why is that?

8:57:29 PM Sam: well, they are favorites for a reason

8:57:45 PM Sam: in this case, i’m actually going with the consensus

8:58:11 PM Son Trinh: Well I think it’ll be Cowboys, Jaguars, Seahawks, and the Colts

8:58:30 PM Sam: The jags could give the Pats a scare if the game is close, but if the jags fall behind I don’t know if they have the tools to catch up from behind

8:58:43 PM Son Trinh: Romo will get his revenge, and the other Manning will win

8:59:00 PM Son Trinh: their D keeps them in the game all the time, thats why I like em, no blowouts

9:00:09 PM Sam: yeah

9:00:16 PM Sam: they played the Colts pretty well this year

9:00:32 PM Sam: but they still haven’t seen the likes of Brady, Moss, and Welker

9:00:54 PM Son Trinh: and the Patriots D has not seen the likes of a real running game since Indy and Dallas

9:01:09 PM Son Trinh: Indy was closer because they ACTUALLY attempted to rush it more

9:01:28 PM Son Trinh: Dallas averaged like 6 per carry in that game, but got too slick and passed it too much

9:01:52 PM Son Trinh: slow oldass LBs like the Patriots can drop into pass coverage better than trying to stuff the run if you go at them in the middle

9:02:27 PM Son Trinh: I know I’ve been waiting for them to lose, but it will happen mark my words like your creed that Collins would fall to the Seahawks

9:03:03 PM Son Trinh: the 2007 Patriots and the 72 Dolphins had one thing in common: a soft schedule, only thing is the Patriots had a slightly harder one

9:03:22 PM Sam: the Pats beat 6 playoff teams this year

9:03:26 PM Sam: they are no slouch

9:03:33 PM Son Trinh: I mean playing in the worst division where your divisional foes are the Bills, Jets, and Dolphins, and you get to see them twice each? that is some schedule

9:03:36 PM Sam: I agree that they can’t stop the run though

9:04:18 PM Son Trinh: two sides of the spectrum Sam, 6 playoff teams is admirable, but 6 games against the likes of Dick Jauron, Cam Cameron and Eric Mangina, are gonna spice up any stat

9:04:48 PM Sam: yeah but you cant take away quality wins

9:04:59 PM Sam: they beat the crappy teams they’re supposed too

9:05:05 PM Son Trinh: at least thats what I think, they’ve been proving me wrong all year. but I do know they have not seen the Jaguars yet. The Chargers COULD give them a better game, and we all know what we’d get with a Colts rematch.

9:05:10 PM Sam: and they win the tough games versus hard foes too

9:05:43 PM Son Trinh: yeh, I’m just bitter and tired of Boston sports so I have to jump on the “hate” bandwagon lol

9:06:40 PM Sam: that’s understandable. they’re good at everything

9:07:23 PM Sam: i could care less about the colts and seahawks games

9:07:46 PM Son Trinh: lol

9:08:35 PM Son Trinh: well there are good matchups all around, it will be a very exciting weekend of football

9:09:11 PM Sam: as long as the cowboys win, i could give two shits about the other games

9:09:19 PM Son Trinh: Let’s wrap up, we got our Kobe fix in, and we managed to go half an hour without mentioning TO (although he will dominate in my opinion come Sunday)

9:09:26 PM Sam: or 3 shits, i should say

9:09:28 PM Son Trinh: lol

9:09:35 PM Son Trinh: it’s enough poop I say

9:10:17 PM Sam: i just hope TO gets the ball

9:10:31 PM Sam: and they dont forget about Barber & Jones

9:11:15 PM Son Trinh: let’s hope my friend, only can hope. that and the REAL Eli Manning shows up on his 2nd consecutive road trip

9:11:25 PM Son Trinh: (the suckass one)

9:11:33 PM Sam: haha

9:11:43 PM Sam: yeah, he’s got to come back down to Earth

9:11:50 PM Sam: just like I told you about Todd Collins

9:12:21 PM Son Trinh: lol

9:12:52 PM Son Trinh: alright Sam any last thoughts before we end another successful myriad of pointless drivel?

9:13:29 PM Sam: F– Jessica Simpson!

Author: Son Categories: General, NBA, NFL

NFL Divisional Playoffs Preview (And then there were 4)

January 9th, 2008

If you could script a Hollywood ending to the 2008 NFL playoffs, how would it conclude? Would you pick the wiry gray-haired living legend leading a bunch of kids to a Super Bowl win? Or should it be the young gunslinger with the blonde bombshell semi-diva by his side and a superstar wide-out who possesses otherworldly speed and power? How about the defending champs led by their steady and cerebral signal caller who have been biding their time in the shadows while their rivals garner all the spotlight? Of course if we’re talking Hollywood, it must start with controversy, impossible challenges met by an unreachable goal only to end in suspense whether that goal of perfection can be met with tremendous success or utter failure (never mind that your QB threw for 50 TD passes and only 8 interceptions in the regular season).

In Tinseltown, all of the above would ideally be accomplished in a number of different ways with the end result that the star (Favre, Romo, P.Manning, or Brady) would be holding the Lombardi Trophy. However in the real world, the Seahawks, Giants, Chargers, and Jaguars will have a say whether or not America sees a fairy tale ending, or the ultimate underdog story. So instead of pimping out my favorite team, or the “popular kids on the block”, we’re going to take a look at the “other” teams and how/why they could win this weekend.

Starting with the Seahawks, the first thing that comes to mind is that 2004 playoff game in the Frozen Tundra where in overtime, a bold Hasselbeck declared (after winning the coin toss), “We want the ball, and we’re gonna score!” Four years and a Super Bowl appearance later, the Seahawks return to Lambeau Field to take on the 8 point favorite Fahvera and the Green Bay Packers. Now that he’s a savvy veteran instead of a cocksure youngster (only four years, but he’s been bald forever!), Hasselbeck has a very good chance of upsetting the Packers if he can rebound from a mediocre game versus the Redskins last weekend. With an early season injury to Shaun-tip-me-over-Alexander, the Seahawks have had to lean on the passing game. Their defense is solid as always, but away from the comfortable confines of Qwest Field in Seattle, can the Seahawks advance to the NFC Championship game? Or will this be another divisional exit after a so-so Wild Card win? For the second year in a row, the Seahawks have the chance to take advantage of an average first playoff game to keep going (everyone remembers what happened last year in Dallas in the first weekend of the playoffs). The cold weather will be a challenge for their passing game as their running game has been inconsistent at best all season. With Green Bay’s more balanced attack, Seattle could be in for a long day if they cannot get pressure on Favre with their 4th rank sack unit. However if the Seahawks can duplicate what Chicago did to Green Bay in week 16 and keep Mr. Pack Man on his toes, a few breaks here, a couple completions there and several solid drives could pave the way for Seattle to win.

Unstoppable… Eli Manning isn’t. However it could be argued considering that E. Manning has been more P. Manning in his last 2 games with 6 combined TD passes along only 1 INT. Smart money is on the Dallas Cowboys and their 7.5 spread at Texas Stadium against Eli Manning on his 2nd consecutive road trip. Nevertheless no matter what team, it is always always hard (in my opinion) to beat a team three times in a row in a single season, much less your division rival. The New York Football Giants seem to be playing their best at the right time, peaking when it matters most, and roll into Dallas with a ton of confidence. Alongside E. Manning and their top ranked sack unit, look for the Giants to avenge not only 1 loss but 2 to their seasonal archrivals. Of course the story with America’s Team is a lackluster ending to their season, constant distraction from the wiles of the opposite sex, and no tabloid-like hoopla is complete without a trip to Mexico and tequilas! So if anything having the momentum, the odds (due for a win after 2 losses?) and some sort of Manning on your side should translate into a HUGE playoff win right? Right? (I hope not :( )

On to the Chargers and their incredible roller coaster ride known as the 2007 season. After a 1-3 start, the vultures started to circle, and the chunky soup semi-curse (LaDainian Tomlinson wasn’t hurt but had a down year by his standards at least) all pointed to head coach Norv Turner as the sole reason for this talented team to struggle so much out of the gates. But a weird thing happened the rest of the way, as it turns out out of those 3 losses, one was almost a fluke to a hated divisional rival who weren’t that good, but the other two were to the 13-3 Packers and the 16-0 Patriots. They ended up going 10-2 the rest of the way, winning 7 in a row to finish the season. Commanded by a suffocating defense and the best running back in the league, San Diego hopes to knock off the defending champs yet again. The Chargers have two things going for them:

1) Turner (with his profile as a bad head coach) has seemingly gotten out of the way and let his team just play, then again Phillip Rivers is pretty mediocre, so it may help to have LT running/passing/catching the ball for you also.

2) All that pressure from not winning a playoff game since the days when Junior Seau’s head was normal-sized and chasing after Steve Young in Super Bowl XXIX is finally gone, as the Chargers can just concentrate on containing P. Manning.

For a 9 point underdog heading into a raucous RCA Dome, you could do a lot worst than the 2007 San Diego Chargers… Then you remember their coach is Norv Turner and he’s going up against Tony Dungy (the ironic version of Mary Schottenheimer and his atrocious playoff record).

Finally, we have my “slightly-tan horse” (not darkhorse since everyone and their mother’s 2nd cousin is still chic on them), the Jacksonville Jaguars butting heads with the perfect Patriots. The much ballyhooed 16-0 season aside, the Jags have a very good chance at upending the heavy favorites. The formula is in place, now it’s up to the chemists to mix it just right:

a) stout defense hungry to prove itself against the best offense in the league (check).

b) same said defense that always allows the whole team to stay close in a game and not be blown out (check).

c) a very good (number 2 ranked) rushing attack with 2 versatile, dynamic yet very tough running backs (check).

d) a young QB who makes little if any fatal in-game mistakes (18 TD: 3 INTs) to limit turnovers and mistakes that could cost your team the most important game of their franchise history (check).

e) perhaps most importantly, the Jacksonville Jaguars have nothing to lose, no one giving them a yellow-snow-cone’s-chance-in-hell, and a 13 point spread (CHECK!).

Yes, maybe just maybe sometimes the mole-butted-cross-eyed-drooling-hunchback-with-chronic-flatulence gets the girl. In that kind of universe, the Super Bowl would be super boring with only the commercials to be the saving grace. In my universe full of dreams, hope, and galloping unicorns, the pretty boy QBs not only get the girl, but they also get to take them to a tequila-soaked-sex-stupor-kind-of-romp in Los Cabos, Mexico. I like my universe better :)

GO COWBOYS!

Author: Son Categories: NFL